Starting Over
by KareBear1965
Summary: COUGAR ALERT:  Bella is in her late 40's, when an accident changed her life and she is starting over making a new life. Jasper is a 28 year old rodeo star/horse trainer that helps Bella learn to live and love again.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N First we all know I don't own twilight, but I do own a very twisted mind. I know I said I would not start any new stories until the ones I'm currently working on are finished, well this little story won't shut up. I've written 7 chapters in 4 days. Each chapter in this story will be between 1000 to 1500 words. This story is for all us wantabe cougars. This is one man that could make a cougar out of me.**

**Chapter 1**

Nineteen fucking years, he controlled my life. From the clothes, I wore day to day to the people I could talk to. I have no friends; in fact, both my parents died, and it was years before I even found out that I had lost them. We only had the one car and when he sent me to do the shopping; he would time how long I was gone.

I meet James fucking Hunter in college, or I should say the last year of vet school. I thought he was different from the other guys, because he always seemed so sweet and caring. We got married as soon as I found out, I was pregnant.

What a joke all my troubles started then. He made me quit school to stay home. By the time Victoria, whom he named was born; I could no longer talk to any of my friends or family. We moved out of state.

Slowly, over time I became nothing, but a shell of what I was before him. I went from size five up to a sixteen, and every time I'd talk about loosing weight, he would say he loved me like I am and that only women who were out hunting for something new wanted to change the way they look.

The last eleven years he never even touched me; our kisses were just quick little pecks.

The day of the accident that took his life, Victoria told me she hated me and never wanted to see me ever again. Just hours after the funeral, she left with her much older boyfriend Laurent.

I spent the next few weeks sifting through all the paperwork. He had always paid all the bills, so I had no clue of what or how much was in the bank? I found out that our little meager house was paid for, as was the car.

His life insurance alone left me a million dollars and with what was in the bank; I was walking away with close to five million. I decided I was going to sell everything and walk away, stating a new life in a new place.

I knew with as much time that had passed that there was no way I could go into the vet field without having to retake much of the courses. So, I spent a few days trying to figure out what I was going to do while I waited, for the house to sell.

I had already sold all the future off and was staying in a motel.

I bought myself a cheap laptop and discovered the internet. It helped me to decide that I wanted to try my hand at breeding Appaloosas. I had always loved the breed and even rode one when dad would take me up into the mountains.

Doing all this thinking has me missing my parents. I was always a tomboy going, fishing and hunting with dad. Mom had left when I was four, but always made sure to be around when it was my birthday and even showing up for Christmases saying she just couldn't be away from us on those days.

It was the year before I graduated from high school that mom finally remarried and settled down. Phil was great for mom. He was closer to my age than moms, but he seemed to settle her give her purpose in life, something no one or anything had been able to do before he came into her life.

I don't even know how either of them died. Why had I let James control me for so long? I know he was getting it from somewhere else, as more than once I could smell sex and perfume on him.

So, much has changed in the world, while I sat in that small house cooking and cleaning for him. I knew about computers and the internet along with cell phones because of ads I've seen on TV, when he would let me watch it.

I felt like a child being turned loose for the first time in their life.

After days of research, I found what I was looking for. It was just outside of Hill's Prairie, Texas. The house was bigger than I really needed with it having five bedrooms, but it was already set up for horses. It even had two arenas that were covered.

The place had two creeks, which ran through it so water would never be an issue and with it being two hundred acres, I could have part of it set aside for hay and not have to spend money on buy it. There were two barns, one of which had a birthing stall.

I drove down to look at the place and fell in love. This was a place where dreams could come true. I told the agent, I would take it, right along with informing her that it was a cash sale. She told me even with it being a cash sale it would still take two weeks to close.

That was more than fine with me. It would give me time to decide how I was going to decorate the place and locate the right horses for sale. I remember doing a paper on Appys back in college, so I knew what bloodlines I was looking for.

The only thing I would need would be someone who knew something about training horses, as I know nothing about the training part.

When I got back to my motel, the clerk told me that my agent had been looking for me. I quickly gave her a call she told me that I had an offer on my house, and that they wanted a forty- five-day closing. The offer was for the asking price, so I took it.

I then decided I didn't want to be Bella Hunter any longer. I wanted to be Bella Swan once again, as being a Swan was the only time in my life that I had happy memories. I decided to check into what it would take to get back the last name I was born with.

I was pleased to find out that it would take just some simple paperwork along with the fees to pay the lawyer and the court cost, which all added up to five hundred dollars. By the time my house closed, I was no longer Bella Hunter, but once again Bella Swan.

I paid my motel bill packed my meager supplies and drove to my new place in Texas.


	2. Chapter 2

**I wanna thank all my friends for their help with this: abbymickey24, fallgoddess, LunarEclipse1, and KimRathbone or I should say that they encouraged me to continue and write faster.**

Chapter 2

I pulled up to my new house. I was already feeling different inside. The only thing I had left to get rid of from my old life was the car. I knew that I would need a truck and a trailer if I was serious about breeding horses.

I parked and carried my belonging inside. The place was still bare, as I haven't decided what I wanted to do. James had always picked out everything for the house and my dad before then. As I stood there, looking around two things hit me: one I was alone in this world and two I was alright with it. I carried my small bag of clothes up the stairs to what was the master suite. I sat it down just inside the doorway of the walk-in closet, which I swear is larger than the room James, and I shared in our house.

Shaking my head, I turned to walk back down stairs. I knew that Hill's Prairie was such a small place that the best place to go and buy furniture, would be to drive a little over an hour to Austin. I liked the idea of living out in the middle of nowhere.

I picked up my purse along with the keys and headed back out to the car. I knew it would be late by the time I got into Austin, so I decided I would just grab some dinner and a room for the night and do my shopping the next day.

As I entered Austin, I passed a place that sold trailers, which got me thinking no better time than now to trade in this car and get me a nice truck, so I could pull a nice trailer. I found a FORD dealership. I pulled in and got out, so I could look at trucks.

I was looking at a midnight blue quad cab F350 Super Duty, when this bombshell of a lady walked up to me.

"You don't look like the truck type of person."

"And who are you to tell me what type of person I am?" I asked back sounding pissed.

"Whoa, whoa no offense, but I saw you get out of that Mercedes over there," she snapped back.

"I want nothing to do with that piece of crap; I want this truck it will suit me well," I responded right back.

"You're a feisty one. I'm Rose McCarty, my husband and I own this dealership," holding out her hand to shake mine.

"Bella Swan. Can I test drive this now?"

"Sure let me get a copy of your driver's license and insurance, and I'll get the keys."

I quickly handed her my information.

"You said your name was Swan, this here says Hunter. Is there something I need to know?" she asked with an inquisitive look on her face.

"I'm starting over is all you need to know, and I just had the name change. I have the court documents," I informed her not wanting to go into everything.

"Alright let's get those keys and take this bad boy for a test drive."

I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous about driving something so big, but I felt like it was made for me. After all I learned how to drive in a 57 Chevy pickup. Dad had even taught me how to pull a trailer, mainly boats, but I knew the principle of it is the same, so I was getting excited about my new adventure in life.

It took about thirty minutes to do up the paperwork; once again, I was paying cash after my trade in. I was so happy to get rid of the last piece which belonged to James. After signing all the paperwork, I asked where the closest hotel was to stay the night along with a good place to grab some dinner.

Rose quickly gave me directions, but added that she would love for me to come and grab dinner at the diner down the road with her and her husband Emmett, who I had met while doing the paperwork. I accepted, as it would be nice to eat dinner with someone for a change.

"So, that address is in Hill's Prairie, if I remember correctly that's the old Massy place," Emmett stated as we sat down in the booth.

"Yes, as I already told your wife, I'm starting a new life," I answered back.

"That's a lot of land for a lady like yourself."

"I can and will do anything I so choose," I snapped back at him.

"Now, I see why you and my Rosie hit it off, your just as feisty, y'll do well as long as you keep that attitude," he laughed causing Rose and myself to laugh.

"Em, you know I don't befriend just anybody," Rose said sounding sickly sweet.

I really enjoyed dinner and talking with both of them. I thought they were the sort of people I could really enjoy being friends with. Then Rose shocked me, "I go to the gym every morning before I head into work, would you like to join me? I'm not saying you don't look good, but it would be nice to have a friendly face, while I work out with all the barracudas in that place."

"Not sure how much I can do, I mean the last time I did any sort of exercise was over nineteen years ago," I said knowing my voice was laced with sadness.

Some how she talked me into it. What was I getting myself into? I checked myself into the hotel and took a shower before settling down for the night. Knowing I would need to get a good night's sleep if I wanted even to look like I knew what I was doing at the gym.

I was awakened by some obsessive knocking on the door. As I neared it, I could hear Rose calling me.

"Swan, get your ass in gear, we're late!"

Less than twenty minutes later, we were walking into her gym.

"Kim, I've got a client for you," Rose yelled to some lady behind one of the desks.

"Rose, if you brought me a client I might just die, cause everyone knows Rose don't do friendships," the lady answered back.

"Kim, I would like you to meet Bella Swan and stop saying I don't do friendship because this girl can give me a run for my money on feistiness," Rose stated causing me to laugh.

In the next hour, I was weighed, my blood pressure taken and asked loads of questions, before I found out what the hell was going on.

"Ms. Swan, here is a list of things that will help you lose weight and get you into shape. It shows that with you being five feet four your borderline obese. You're lucky you don't have any health problems, but I'd talk to a doctor before you start any diet plans and the exercise plan I've set out for you," this Kim lady informed me.

I took the papers from her and it all made sense, and I felt I could do it. I wanted to create a new me and what better way than to try and get part of the old me back.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N Many of you are asking questions, and some seem to think Bella isn't acting like a mature adult of the age I'm making her. When you're in a control relationship and the only people you can talk to are people in a store and it's just to ask questions you don't mature like a normal person. Bella is ME…. The one difference between us is that she gets to start over, while I live it day to day. Yes, I live on a ranch and breed horse and fainting goats. Yes, I go riding, but when and where I go is very controlled. The only person I'm allowed to ride with is a teenage girl that lives around the corner from me. The one thing I've taken control over is my Internet usage and what I write. The question on how can Bella just walk away from her daughter like I've Bella doing, it's hard to have a relationship with a child that has been turned against you. Even when they become an adult and can make up their own mind, what they have been taught to think doesn't change. Yes this is something else that I live with.**

**I wanna thank all my friends for their help with this: abbymickey24, fallgoddess, LunarEclipse1, and KimRathbone or I should say that they encouraged me to continue and write faster.**

**Chapter 3**

Rose and Kim, was right I needed to get myself in shape if I expected to achieve in this new life I was trying to create. As we left the gym, I asked Rose about the local doctors and who would be a good choice for me.

She told me that the Cullen Clinic in Garfield was great, as it was family run, and it was an all in one clinic. She gave me their number, and I said I would call after I shop for furniture.

"What you didn't even bring household goods, with you?" Rose asked disbelievingly.

"I told you, I'm starting over with a blank slate," I answered back.

"Damn girl I think you need to go to Esme's Design, her and her daughter-in-law Alice, are the best in the business. They can help create the home you have envisioned. And no doubt about it, Alice will try and be your best friend, that hyper pixie," Rose laughed.

"Ok, what gives with this Alice person?"

"Oh, wait and see. You passed their place between Garfield and Austin."

"Ok, I'll check them out, and I'll call you after I've talked to a doctor at the Cullen Clinic about exercising and such," I told her as I climbed into my truck.

I headed back towards Hill's looking for Esme's Design. I found them. Rose was right you can't miss the sign, how I missed it coming in was a shocker to me. I mean flashing neon usually catches everyone's eye.

I pulled in and found myself hesitating just a few before climbing down and walking into the store.

"Hi, I'm Alice. How can I help you today?" This tiny little lady asked.

"Rose, told me that this is the place to buy furniture, if you're starting with a clean slate," I responded not knowing really how to answer her.

"Oh, Rose said that? You must be someone one special, if she gave you any such information. She hates everyone," came her reply.

Just then a beautiful lady walked out of the back office.

"You must be Bella. I just got off the phone with Rose, and she said she sent you here. You really bought the Massy's old place? I've been dying to check that place out since they both passed away. Oh, where are my manners? I'm Esme Cullen and this is my daughter-in-law Alice Cullen," she said holding her hand out for me to shake.

"Cullen, as in the Cullen Clinic?" I asked.

"Yes, the clinic is run by my husband and son," she answered back.

We talked a few more moments before Esme took me to show me some bedroom stuff, since that was the room I wanted and needed to get set up today. Never looking at furniture before, I was in for a mind-blowing experience.

I finally decided on a walnut sleigh bed with matching dresser and wardrobe, which really was made for a TV. The bed I sold was just a double, and I loved the idea of having lots of room, so I went with the California King.

I also set up an appointment for the next afternoon for Esme to come and take a look at the house and help me make it into a home I will enjoy. The bedroom set would be delivered in a few hours, so I decided to head home and wait.

I stopped off at the little store on the way and bought some groceries. By the time, I got to the house it was past noon and my stomach was growling, so my first order of business was to fix myself some lunch. As I was cleaning up for lunch, the delivery guys showed up. I showed them where everything would go and left them to set it up.

I then called the clinic wanting and needing to get my transformation started. I was pleased that I could get in the next day. I was starting to think that this was truly the right move for me. I even have a friend.

The next few days flew by and Rose, and I had talked every day. Esme had her crew in and out of here painting and replacing carpet in the bedrooms. I wanted to stay with the hardwood flooring in all the other rooms.

She even helped me set up the office/library. My books were the one thing I brought with me. It was the one thing he never seemed to get mad about, now I had nice bookcases to place them in. My doctor's appointment had gone well, and I really liked Dr. Carlisle Cullen.

He agreed with Kim's plan, saying she is one of the best nutritionists that he knew and trust her in helping me get to a healthy weight. He told me with my height and age, I should weigh about one hundred and thirty and no more than one hundred forty. That would be a sixty-pound weight loss if I got down to the one hundred and thirty-pound mark.

He explained to me that she was a little off when she said I was borderline obese, he said if I set my weight loss goal to the one hundred and forty mark, she was correct, but if I was shooting for the one hundred and thirty mark, I was considered obese.

What had I let James do to me? God I hated him for ruining my life and controlling me so much that I didn't know up or down at times. He was even successful in getting our daughter to hate me.

With my home, all set up, I was now ready to start looking for horses. I walked the fence line, taking water with me because I knew it would be a long day walking it. I needed to make sure the fences were in good working order, before I ever put any animals out in a pasture.

I decided I would strengthen the fence line on the smaller of the pastures, which was just a little over two acres and would be perfect for a stallion. I hired a couple of local fencers to do that work for me as well as a few minor repairs I thought were needed.

They were pleased that I seemed to know what I was talking about, and that I wasn't some city person trying to be a rancher.

I was now on the road to make my dreams come true.


	4. Chapter 4

**I wanna thank all my friends for their help with this: abbymickey24, fallgoddess, LunarEclipse1, and KimRathbone or I should say that they encouraged me to continue and write faster.**

**Chapter 4**

The next nine months seemed to fly by. I met with Rose three days a week and did my own exercise plan at home the rest of the week. Rose has become my best friend and Emmett thinks of me as his sister.

The Cullens have all become my friends and have spent many of nights out here with me. I picked up a few mares all of which were in foal. I still haven't found the stallion that I want for my breeding program, but in time I know the right one will come up for sale or one of my mares might produce a colt that I deem worthy of being a stud.

I've lost the sixty pounds that Carlisle thought would be best for me, and I have to say I feel better than I've had in years. Alice, who I found was a shopaholic, would drag me to Austin once a month to get a new wardrobe while I was losing my weight.

I did some research on my education status to see if any classes would still stand, and I found I could take the state vet tech test and get my license or I could take my last year all over and become a vet. I've met the local vet, Doc Johnston and he is great. I don't think I could compete with him, but I would love to be a tech on his staff.

I needed to make an appointment for him to come and check two of my mares, both should have foaled by now according to the records that I was given. So, I decided I would drive-in and also talk about helping out part-time in his office.

I pulled up as a blond-haired guy was bringing a horse off a trailer. I sat and stared at his man, as he had to be the most beautiful man, I had ever laid eyes on. He was wearing a t-shirt that was skin tight; I could see all his bulging muscles.

He was having a little trouble with the horse. I decided to go and see if I could help.

"Sir, you look like you could use a hand with this fellow," I said as I eyed him up and down. _Damn he looks even better up close, but he __is __just a kid and would never want anything to do with an old woman like __me__. I need to stop thinking like this. No man would ever want me._

"Ma'am, I think I've got him, Chance is just a little high strung when it comes to the vet," he replied, as he yanked hard on the lead causing the chain to snap the horse, effectively causing him to calm down.

"Nice looking boy you have there, by his looks he has some Appy blood in him," I stated taking in the horse's head shape and the fact that his mane was short.

"Yes, he's half and just a knucklehead. Ma'am I'd like to apologize for my rudeness, I'm Jasper Whitlock and this here is Chance."

"No need to apologize for being rude; you were dealing with a twelve hundred pound animal, so I understand. I'm Bella Swan," I held out my hand to shake his.

"You sure do seem to know your animals, if you could tell he was part Appy, and that he weights in close to twelve hundred pounds," he said somewhat amazed as he eyed me with a smirk.

_God that smirk is the sexiest thing I've ever seen damn. Why do I have to be so old? I could feel my __vajayjay__ aching in ways it never had before._

"I've study animals for many years, and I'm just starting up a small Appaloosa breeding ranch." I informed him as we started walking towards the back.

"Oh, so you're the lady I've heard so much about. You bought the old Massy place."

"Yes, I guess I would be her, and could someone please tell me why everyone keeps calling my place the old Massy place?"

"The place had been in the Massy family for five or six generations. The couple that had it before you never had any kids to pass the place on to, so they put it in their will for it to be sold," he explained to me.

_Damn the guy is so hot looking and his smooth voice just make__s__ me want to jump him right here and now._

"Jasper, I see it's time for Chance's cogging, are you and Pete giving the horses their shots or do you want me to do it?" Doc Johnston asked as we rounded the back corner causing me to jump, as I didn't expect him to be there.

"Yes, it's just the cogging that I'm looking at, Pete and I did their shots last week. He'll be in later in the week with Dan. H took him along to go look at a new horse," mister sex on a stick responded.

"OK and I see you've met Ms. Swan. And what can I do for you today?" Doc Johnston asked.

"A couple of things Scarlet and Abby are both way overdue, they are both at 420 days, so I'd like you to check them out. I was also wondering if you need any help around here. I was just interested in part time mind you, but I need to get away from the ranch more than I currently do. I did train as a vet twenty years ago, just never took my test."

"You're full of surprises. I thought when I first met you that you were a city slicker just trying to pretend to be a horse breeder," Doc stated before adding, "How does someone study eight years and not take the test?"

"I got married, had a baby, and stayed home," was the only answer I was going to give him.

"I heard you were single."

"I am," I replied sounding irritated.

"Now Ms. Swan, I didn't mean to pry into your personal life. From what I've seen you have the knowledge about animals; I'll give you a chance to prove to me; you can handle the job," Doc stated before turning to get the supplies he needed.

While doc was getting his supplies, I found myself talking with Jasper some more. It turns out that he, and his brother are at the top of the National Professional Rodeo Association leader's board. I've never followed rodeo much, but if I had him to look at I might just have to start.

I also found out that in the off season or when there is time between rodeos, he and his brother Peter train horses. Just, the man I was looking for, a trainer who really seems to know his way around an animal.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N Scarlet is my mare and she went 420 days. I was beginning to think she didn't take when I had taken her to breed with the Appy stud, because my then Tennessee Walker Stud had broke through the fence and tagged her. I know that a stud will breed an already bread mare to show dominance, but have never seen it and with her going so long it could have been my stud and not the Appy. Dan has since been cut and is now a happy gelding. If I say something or not describe something that you don't understand just ask the question. Appy's have seven different coats and they can have combinations of those coats, so unless your into Appy's like myself it might be hard to picture what I'm talking about. The average mare carries for 325 day or eleven months. Those that go longer usually are carrying twins or a very small foal. For those that don't understand my terms a foal is any baby that you don't know the sex of it. So, we say a mare is in foal. A Colt is a little boy… a Filly is a little girl…. Gelding is a Colt that has been cut so he can't impregnant a mare.**

**I wanna thank all my friends for their help with this: abbymickey24, fallgoddess, LunarEclipse1, and KimRathbone or I should say that they encouraged me to continue and write faster.**

Chapter 5

Doc said he would be by after office hours because he had a full day ahead of him. He also said he would bring out the portable ultrasound to check and see what's going on inside. I know that a handful of mares will carry as far out at 425 days, but I can't help but worry.

I think I'm just worried because these will be my first two foals on the ground, and I'm tired of waiting for them to get here. I left doc's thinking about one Mister Jasper Whitlock. He has my brain and my body all confused.

I drove home pulling up just outside my birthing barn. I went in to check on Scarlet and Abby, just like when I left neither showed any signs of labor. I decided that I should grab something to eat, so I drove my little 4x4 gator up to the house.

After grabbing a quick bite, I drove back down to the barn to wait for Doc. As I neared the barn, I saw a strange trucking pulling in. It pulled up right next to mine and parked; I watched as none other than Jasper Whitlock climbed out of the truck.

"Ma'am, Doc thought you might want some company until he gets here. I understand being worried," he said walking towards me.

"Thank you, company would be nice," I smile, while my insides are jumping for joy.

"Nice looking mares."

"Thank you," was all I could think about saying. _What I really wanted to say was can I jump your bones. It's been a very long time, but I'd love for you to teach me how to get back in the saddle._

I watched as he checked out both my mares, loving the view of how his muscles moved as he walked around Scarlet. I was in awe, of how he moved always having one hand touching Scarlet, who was calmer than I've ever seen her.

When he finished checking both of them, he tells me that he feels that everything is fine, and that I'm just worrying for nothing.

"Thank you, but I can't help but worry they're my babies," I explained.

We sat and talked for a couple more hours before Doc showed up with the portable ultrasound machine.

The machine showed us that Scarlet was expecting twins, and everything look fine. Abby also showed that everything was fine. They are just making me wait to drive me crazy. Doc told me that I could call him at anytime and once my foals were on the ground we could talk more about me working for him part time.

I thanked him and told him I would keep him posted on what was going on. Shortly after Doc left, I invited Jasper up to the house for dinner as a way of thanking him for helping me stay calm. The truth was I didn't want him to leave. I'm drawn to him, for some reason.

I was pleased that he accepted my invite. We talked more while we ate our simple dinner of chili over rice. I asked him if he and his brother were currently employed as trainers, since I was looking for someone. He told me he would have to talk it over with his brother, but he was pretty sure that they would be up for helping me out.

We talked about all the things I needed to look at to make sure both of Scarlet's twins survived. He even gave me his number, so I could call him if I needed help. _My insides did the happy dance._ I thanked him once again before bidding him good night.

Over the next few days, I spent all my time out in the birthing barn. I even set up a cot, so I could sleep out there. On day three of my barn watch, Abby went into labor, and it was fast and easy. Her colt was perfect. He was jet black with a blanket just like I had hoped for. Abby, who has a red based, so with her colt being black, showed me that her gene was not dominant in him. It made me wonder what her foal would look like if I bred her to a stallion that was red based instead of the black base she had been breed to this time around.

I was so wrapped up with Abby, and her colt that I didn't notice Scarlet going down. When I heard her neigh out in pain, I jumped. How could I've been so stupid? I called Doc to only find out he was in emergency surgery, but would be over as soon as possible.

I panicked for a few minutes before I remembered Jasper had said I could call him night or day. I quickly dialed his phone. It went to voice mail. I knew on the business card he gave me that it also had his brother's phone number.

I called and as his brother picked up, I said, "Hi, I'm Bella Swan, and I need help now, my mare Scarlet went into labor and is having difficulty. I tried calling Jasper, but his phone went straight to voice mail."

"Ma'am, I know who you are, as Jasper can't stop talking about you. I can be there in about fifteen minutes." He responded.

I thanked him and went back to Scarlet; I tried to remember everything from my training to help calm her and see if I could asses what was going on. What I found were three legs trying to come out at once, and they were a tangled mess. I knew for sure that I needed help to get this done safely in order to save any of them.

My heart was beating so fast as I tried my best to keep Scarlet calm. Shit I needed someone to keep me calm. When I saw the blond man walk in, I about died.

"Both babies are trying to come at once the legs are tangled together," I said as he opened the gate to come into the stall.

"Ma'am, what do I need to do to help; this is more Jasper's field than mine. I just ride' em."

"That's fine, if you can hold Scarlet down, I can do, what is needed."

I quickly ran to the supply closet and got out a pair of gloves. I was not going inside her without gloves on. I'm glad now that I had stocked them in my emergency kit.

I gave Scarlet a shot of Banimine, for the pain, before I pushed the three legs back inside. Now I had to figure out whose legs were whose, so I could safely help deliver the first of the two. I found that both sacks had broken so now time was even more important.

It seemed like forever before I got the legs with the right foal. I had just gotten the first foal out when Jasper came running into the stall.

"I've got to get the other one out fast!"

He took the foal in my hand picked up a towel and started rubbing on it as I went back inside Scarlet to help with the second one. We had both delivered and breathing by the time Doc got there.

He did a quick check of all three, declaring I did a great job. I had two more Colts to my name.


	6. Chapter 6

**I wanna thank all my friends for their help with this: abbymickey24, fallgoddess, LunarEclipse1, and KimRathbone or I should say that they encouraged me to continue and write faster.** **I also seem to keep forgetting to thank Maria for her hand in correcting my tenses.**

**Chapter 6**

That first week after the foals were born, I had very little to no sleep. Scarlet was having troubles producing enough milk to feed both Colts, so I was giving them bottles, or should I say we have been giving them bottles. Jasper has been here the whole time helping me.

I don't think I could have handled it if he hadn't been here for me. I even got to know Peter, since he came out and stayed a few hours each day, usually bringing us lunch when he came. Scarlet and her twins were doing well, but I knew it would be a few months before we knew for sure that both Colts would survive.

I've still hadn't figured out what I was going to name each of my three Colts. I also knew that all three of these boys would be put up for sale once they were weaned and had basic ground manner.

Each of the Colts already had halters on them with short lead lines, so they could get use to the feel. I would sit and listen to Peter, and Jasper plan out their training; Peter thought Abby's colt would make a great reining horse.

This was the part of horses I didn't understand. I understand bloodlines and how to cross the bloodlines to get the best horse, ones that can win in the show ring or rodeo ring. I would leave all the training and how to market them when the time is right, to the Whitlock boys who seem to know what they were talking about.

Of course, none of that would matter if we couldn't keep them alive. More sleepless nights passed, but it was all worth it.

A month later they were stronger and seemed to be thriving. Over this time, I've grown very fond of having Jasper around, not only to help out with the foals, but also for the view. The few nights I got any real sleep; he stared in all my dreams.

I kept telling myself that I'm too old for him, and that he could never think of me in a sexual way. I can live with just the dreams if I have to, but I think I would give anything to have more.

Jasper encouraged me to continue with my normal routine as much as possible, so after that second week; I started to meet Rose at the gym again. Kim pulled me aside and jumped on my eating habits or lack of eating habits, since I've spent so much time down at the barn.

I enjoyed getting back to the gym and once a week, Rose, and I would go out for lunch. I was just coming into the barn after having lunch with Rose expecting to see Jasper, but he was nowhere in sight. I knew he was still here, because his truck was parked out front.

The only place out of view would be the tack room, so I headed toward it. I found the door open, and Jasper was sitting on a stool wiping down halters. I just stood there watching him. He had taken off his shirt.

What that view did to my insides! My vajayjay was fluttering with joy. The way his muscles flexed was enough to send me to a cold shower. I'm not sure what happened, but the next thing I knew he was looking at me with a smirk on his face.

"Darlin', I take it. You like what you see."

_What did I do that got him looking at me? Why did he call me Darlin'?_

"I see you turned the Colts out into the run," was all I could think of saying. I could feel that I was blushing.

Everything was moving in slow motion as I watched him stand, place the halter on the hook and walk over to me.

"Darlin', what is going through your head that has you blushing like someone who got caught thinking something dirty?" he asked running the back of his hand over my redden cheek.

It was like my body had come alive, as electricity flowed through the back of his hand and through my cheek all the way down to my toes. I just stood there looking at him not knowing what to say.

"Darlin', let's go and feed those little guys their afternoon bottles. If you don't want to tell me what's going on in the pretty head of yours, you don't have to," he said as he stepped, pass me.

It took me a few moments before I could move to follow him. I reached the stall as he ran Scarlet and her two Colts in leaving Abby and her colt out in the run.

For the first time in weeks, we sat in silence as we fed the Colts their bottles, while Scarlet munched on some fresh alfalfa hay.

How do you tell a guy that is so much younger than you, that he does things to your body that nobody has ever done before? I don't even remember what a real kiss felt like; let alone how it felt to be with a man.

After feeding the Colts Jasper said he needed to run home and do some stuff around his place, and that he needed to get ready for an up-coming rodeo. I told him good-bye and that I hoped I would see him soon.

I've really screwed this one up. Whatever had just happened, I ran off the man of my dreams.

Later, that night he called to tell me that he would be by to feed the colts' first thing in the morning, but then he would be out working Chance getting him ready for the upcoming rodeo.

I knew he dropped everything to help me out this past month, even missing a rodeo. Why can't I tell him how I felt or how just looking at him makes me want to come undone? I'm so out of practice that sometimes I feel like a teenager with her first crush.

The next few days I never saw him, I knew he'd been around and there was always some sign of him being there. The week closed out, and I hadn't seen or talked to him since the night he called.

I still found myself dreaming of him each and every night. It now had been two weeks, since I had seen or heard from him. I wanted to think it was because he was off doing a few rodeos. I didn't want to think it was because he was trying to avoid me.

I knew if I ever saw him again, I needed to tell him that I desired to be more than just friends.


	7. Chapter 7

**Lemon Alert!**

**I wanna thank all my friends for their help with this: abbymickey24, fallgoddess, LunarEclipse1, and KimRathbone or I should say that they encouraged me to continue and write faster. I also need to thank Maria for fixing my tense since I know this is my biggest problem.**

**Chapter 7**

Three weeks have passed since I've seen or talked to Jasper. I feel like a piece of me is missing. How did I allow myself to get so wrapped up in a man who is twenty years younger? What a fine specimen he is, I don't remember ever seeing a finer man than Jasper Whitlock.

Rose noticed this change in me and keeps asking me if my rabbit has died or something. If the girl only knew what has been going through my mind, let a lone the type of dreams I've been having, she may not want to know!

With Peter and Jasper out of town for who knows how long, Doc hasn't had me start working for him part time. He feels making sure my Colts stay healthy is more important, and I would have to agree with that.

Today, I was busy cleaning out the stalls. Unfortunately, I was so into my work that I forgot about the water bucket on the wall, and I ended up knocking it off its hook. I stopped everything as my body was shocked, as the cold water hit my overheated body, soaking it from head to toe. I shook the excess water off and tried to get back to work, but being in wet clothes didn't make my job easier. It was hard enough to clean a stall, let alone trying to do it with soggy jeans that weigh a ton!

Finally, I just couldn't take it anymore, so I quickly pulled off my boots and slipped off my jeans and then put my boots back on. There was no way I was going to step into shit with my bare feet. I worked a few moments with my wet shirt still on before I couldn't take how it clung to me and made it hard to move. That too was soon tossed over the rail of the stall, just like my jeans.

So in my new outfit of just panties, bra, and boots; I finished the one stall and started the next. Once again, I got into my work, and I forget the damn water bucket on the wall! For once I was not in need of a cold shower; I had effectually given myself two, in less than five minutes!

I started to get really cold, and I knew that my nipples had to be sticking out. All the new underwear Rose and Alice helped picks out were not the cotton one's I was used to; these were made of a thin silk and when wet; nothing was left to the imagination.

I had just finished up the last stall and was coming out the gate when I bumped into something hard, yet soft at the same time. Arms wrapped around me keeping me tight against whoever's body it was and stopping me from falling. I looked up into the icy blue eyes of the man who owned me, even though he didn't know it.

"Darlin', that was some show you just put on." He stated smirking at me.

"What show, I didn't even know you were here. I'm soaking wet to boot."

"Darlin', It was the best show I've ever seen." His tone caused me to blush.

"If you let me loose; I'll run and put dry clothes on, and we can talk." I said ducking my head, so he couldn't see my true feelings.

"Darlin', look at me please." His voice pleaded, as he lifted my chin. I raised my head and looked into those beautiful icy blue eyes, and I never wanted to look away.

We just stood there looking at one another for the longest time, like we're in a trance. I could feel all of him. He was holding me so tight against his rock-hard body, that I could feel that other part of him was hard, not just his chest and arms.

_I hope he is hard because he desires me not just because he likes to look at half-naked females._

When he started to lower his head to bring it closer to mine, I was not sure if this was what I wanted or how I wanted it to happen the first time. As his lips gently touched mine, I jerked my head back causing us to bump noses.

I felt like a teenager getting her first kiss from her crush. I shivered, and I knew it wasn't because I was cold; it was all because of the man who had me wrapped in his arms.

"Darlin', I've wanted you from the moment, I met you at Docs. I've hoped that you've wanted me too. The last time I saw you, you gave me hope that you wanted me. If you don't want me, tell me now, and I'll walk out of this barn and from that point on, we will just be two professionals who work together from time to time."

I could see the truth of his words in his eyes.

"God, how I want you and have from the moment, I saw you unloading Chance. I've never wanted someone like the way I want you...

His lips were back on mine this time it was not gentle. It was full of desire. I didn't even know we had moved any until I felt the stone wall of the stall behind me. As he kissed me, his hands roamed my body.

My body was on fire, and only he knew the way to calm that fire down. When he broke the kiss off, he looked at me in the eyes for a moment, like he was looking for something, and then he started kissing down my neck to my collarbone, I felt him unfasten my bra.

With shaking hands, I slowly unbuttoned his shirt. He stepped back just a tad, so I could slide his shirt off his shoulders and let if fall to the newly clean floor of the stall.

When he took one of my nipples in his mouth, I thought I would orgasm right then and there. I can't remember ever having that done to me. This was all so new. I was a willing student, if he wanted to be my teacher.

I wanted to feel all of his skin next to mine. I had so many things going through my head that when he started to roll my other nipple between his fingers, I gasped out of shock.

He pulled back and looked at me as my gasp seemed to shock him, and before he could even ask anything, I panted out, "This is all new to me. It's never been like this, and it's been way too long. I don't know what I'm doing." I was almost in tears before I got it all out just knowing it would scare him off.

"Darlin', just let me make you feel good," he reassured me kissing my forehead, then recapturing my lips.

He could have all of me, right here and now. I was his and ripe for the taking.

He pulled back again this time, so he could take off his jeans. I found myself laughing as he tried to take them off with his boots on. After some tugging, he got them off.

"What's so funny?" he growled grabbing my waist and pulling me flush against him.

"You taking off your jeans while leaving your boots on," I laughed out, as he tickled me, making me laugh harder.

I was once again up against the stone wall. The two of us just looking at one another.

"You, are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen."

That was all he said before kissing me again. This was a deep kiss one that was controlling, and I knew the only choice I had was to yield to his every need. He lifted my ass up, so I could put my legs around his waist effectively lining up the parts that so badly wanted to be joined together.

With one quick thrust, he was inside me. I cried out. I'll admit it hurt as he stretched me, since I almost felt like a virgin all over again. He slowly withdrew and slowly thrust back in, this time the sensation was pure pleasure, and I moaned into his kiss.

After that his thrusts turned strong and hard, it was like he turned into a man possessed. I've never felt so full or got so much pleasure out of the act. He was hard and powerful, knowing just what to do. I could feel my walls start to quiver and clamp down around him.

"That's it Darlin' cum for me."

That was all it took for me to let go and then Jasper followed cumming deep inside me a few thrusts later.

We just stood there, me wrapped around him and him holding me tight against the wall as we both came down from our highs.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N As I said in an early authors note that Bella is me in many ways, there are some differences that I feel needs to be explained. Unlike Bella, I never went to college. I went into the Army. I married and had two boys. That relationship was physically abusive and I got out. I've also worked outside the home at times, but hubby always complaining that I care more about my job than him and he made it real hard for me to do the things I needed to do for advancement. As for when I talk about Bella not having sex in 11 years do to cheating the 11 years part is true, but it's been due to health issues and this is what really got him into controlling me. I will give little tad bits of information as Bella starts to open up about her past.**

**I wanna thank all my friends for their help with this: abbymickey24, fallgoddess, LunarEclipse1, and KimRathbone or I should say that they encouraged me to continue and write faster. I also need to thank Maria for fixing my tense since I know this is my biggest problem.**

Chapter 8

As I came down from my orgasm induced high, it hit me hard what we had just done. God, I should be so ashamed of myself for letting this happen. I came here to start a new life, not get involved with a man. A man whom I desire, but this is all wrong.

I tried to push him away as the tears fell. I just wanted to run and hide. My pushing at him wasn't working, so I started pounding on his chest.

"Jasper let me go," I screamed at him.

"Bella, Darlin', what's wrong?" He asked, tightening his hold on me.

"You, need to let me go. This can't happen again."

"Do you regret what just happened?"

"No, I just need to go, please," I begged.

"Darlin', talk to me!"

"No, Just let me go," I cried hitting him once again.

"Damn it, Darlin', talk to me, I'm not letting you go."

"Why, won't you let me go?"

"Because I'm in love with you, something I never thought would happen again."

"Let me go. I won't be controlled ever again," I ranted, getting angry that he wouldn't let me go.

"Hey, who said I wanted to control you? I just want to love you. I really need to know what's going on in that beautiful head of yours."

I broke down and just cried. I can't do this. I don't know how to do this. What have I gotten myself into? I've never felt so safe in anyone's arms like I do right now. I could feel the wall I had built up start to crumble with each tear that fell.

As I started to calm down, I knew that I needed to explain some things to him, but I'm scared it will run him off.

"Darlin', please talk to me. I promise nothing you say will change the way I feel about you."

Why does he always seem to know what to say to calm my fears?

"There's much about me that you don't know. I've only been with one other man, until now. He controlled every aspect of my life. I didn't finish my last year of Vet school, because he wouldn't let me. I had his baby and he turned her against me," I said as fresh tears started to fall.

"Darlin', did he hit you?" he asked wiping away my tears.

"No, he never laid a hand on me; it was just words. He controlled what I ate, watched on TV, read; shit he even told me how to wear my hair, along with what clothes to wear."

"Darlin', that is the past. You are your own amazing person now; one that I've grown to love and want a life with."

"Why and how can you love me? I've never worked outside the home while he was alive. These past few months on my own, I still feel like he is breathing down on my neck and doesn't like what he sees. I'm broken and I don't think I can be fixed," I said as I pushed at his chest wanting for him to let me up.

"That's not going to happen. You need to understand. I'm not him. I won't control you. If you need space or time it's yours. I just want to love you. This past month and a half away from you nearly killed me. You can ask Peter. He was the one that pushed me to come home and deal with my feelings for you."

"What about the age difference people will think I'm perverted and a cradle robber." I said causing him to laugh.

"Darlin', I can assure you I'm my own man, and I don't care what others might think. You are beautiful, caring, giving, and sexy as they come. You've owned my soul from the beginning. Please don't throw away what we can have together, because of your past."

Can this man be for real?

"I can't promise you much. I don't know how to be in a healthy relationship. Hell what we just did was so new to me. With him, it was always the same and then somewhere along the line. I wasn't good enough for him, and all intimacy went out the window. The last time I was with him was almost twelve years ago," I explained blushing and trying to hide my face.

"Darlin', let me teach you to enjoy being loved and enjoy the intimacy that I crave to have with you. I am a willing teacher; if you're willing to be my student."

The only way I could think of answering was to lean forward and kiss his lips. His oh, so soft lips. He let me be in control of this kiss. When I needed more, I ran my tongue over his lower lip asking him for entrance.

I could feel myself getting wet and needing some friction. I could also feel that he was getting hard once again.

"Darlin', tell me what you want," he said as he pulled away from my kiss.

"I want you to make love to me, show me that you can make love to me," I said needing this more than I needed anything else in my life at the moment.

"Darlin' not here, let's go up to the house and your room. If I'm going to make love to you, I want us to be comfortable, this time it's gonna take a while," he said, as he let me down off the wall.

I grabbed his shirt and put it on before taking off running for the house. I knew that he was right behind me, as I could hear his boots on the cement. We entered in from the side door, which opened into the laundry room. I paused for a second for him to catch up with me.

"Darlin', you are a quick one and look so sexy in my shirt," he smirked, as he pulled me into him.

He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder, "Which way to your room ma'am?"

I told him how to find my room. I relaxed against him and enjoyed the view; I had of his still very naked ass, as he ran up the stairs and down the hall to my room.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N It has come to my attention that I have no real character development going on in this story. And that it seems the horses are just as big apart of the story as Bella and Jasper. Well I know for me as a person my horses are a big part of who I am. Please let me know your thoughts on this as I'm loss. I'm sorry this wasn't posted this morning my mind has been else where.**

**I wanna thank all my friends for their help with this: abbymickey24, fallgoddess, LunarEclipse1, and KimRathbone or I should say that they encouraged me to continue and write faster. I also need to thank Maria for fixing my tense since I know this is my biggest problem.**

Chapter 9

He sat me down on my feet and looked into my eyes; as he started to unbutton his shirt, which I was wearing. He slowly slid it off my shoulders kissing each shoulder as the material fell down my back. He kissed each side of my neck, and then nibbled on each ear.

"Relax, Darlin', let me love you."

I wanted to let him love me, but I still had my doubts that this could work. Not only was there twenty years between us, but I was scared I would lose who I was becoming. I've enjoyed being independent these past months.

As he kissed down my neck, to my breast, I could not help but moan at the sensation. My body was humming and alive like nothing I had ever felt before. He first gently kissed each breast, before taking one in and sucking on it.

Why had HE never done that? It feels amazing. While he was sucking on the one, his other hand was massaging the other, and every so often, he would roll my nipple between two fingers.

I moaned, as I ran my fingers through his hair, the softest hair, I've ever felt. I found myself groaning at the loss of his mouth when he pulled back to switch breasts. I could feel the heat between my legs, as I tried rubbing my thighs together to get the friction, I needed so badly.

I gasped when I felt his hand slide down my stomach and to my awaiting core. Just, the slight touch of his finger on my clit nearly sent me over the edge; I found myself teetering on.

"Darlin', you're so hot and wet for me. You like what I'm doing to your body. I can tell your close. Let go when ever you feel the need. This is all for you my dear," he said after releasing my second breast for his ministration.

I didn't know how to answer him. I don't ever recall my body humming and tingling like it is right now. I was putty in his hands. I was moving backwards now and felt the bed behind my knees, so I sat down.

I watched as he knelt beside the bed. He pulled me forward so my ass was just on the edge of the bed. He pushed open my legs as he said, "I'm going to taste you now if that's alright."

Damn, straight that's alright! It's been so long since I've had that done. I found myself quivering at the thought. I gasped as the tip of his tongue flicked my clit.

"So, fucking sweet."

He licked up and down my folds, a few times before taking my clit in his mouth; sucking and nipping it every so often. When he slowly inserted a finger that was all it took to send me over the edge. I thought I had cum hard in the barn, but this was even more intense.

"That's it Darlin', give me your sweet juices," he said.

He continued to suck all my juices before kissing his way up, my body. I can't remember ever tasting myself before, it was erotic to me and just made me want more. I moaned, while flexing my hips upwards as he entered me.

His thrusts were slow and steady. There was no hurry here like earlier in the barn. Every so often, he would swirl his hips letting his pelvis bone grind into my clit. This man knew just what to do to make my body sing for him. He shifted a bit grabbing my right leg and placed it on his shoulder.

This new angle made him hit in places I didn't even know existed. I could feel myself building back up to the point where I was teetering on the edge once again. I relished each and every one of his thrusts. I could feel the sweat building up on my body as we continued this slow dance.

When my body couldn't take it any more I exploded even harder than just moments before. As I felt myself clamp down around him, I felt him release deep inside me. He rolled to the side pulling me onto my side to face him.

We sat there just looking into each other's eyes for what seemed like the longest time.

"Darlin', that is just the start of what I want to share with you," he said placing soft little kisses all over my face.

"Thanks, I know I'll try and push you way, like I did in the barn, please don't let me go," I pleaded with him.

"Darlin', I'm yours forever if you will have me."

"Forever is a long time, are you sure you want to put up with a cranky old woman?" I asked in a teasing tone.

"Forever Darlin'...Forever."

I liked the sound of forever with this man whom seemed to have awakened needs and desires that I never knew existed.

Everything that just happened was better than any of my dreams I've had since meeting this cowboy.

He shifted on the bed, so we could crawl under the covers that was when we both realized that we both still had our boots on this caused us to laugh. All these new emotions going through me caused my laughter to turn to tears.

I knew I wanted to try and be with this man, but I still felt so broken and unsure of whom I was. I felt that I needed to know myself in order to have a healthy relationship. Would he be willing to stand by me as I continue to discover who Bella Swan really is?

He held me as I cried telling me that it will all work out, and that love will see us through. He even took off my boots after taking his off. "I love you Darlin', were the last words I heard as I fell into a deep sleep wrapped in his strong arms.

**A/N It has come to my attention that I have no real character development going on in this story. And that it seems the horses are just as big apart of the story as Bella and Jasper. Well I know for me as a person my horses are a big part of who I am. Please let me know your thoughts on this as I'm loss. I'm sorry this wasn't posted this morning my mind has been else where.**


	10. Out Take 1  Jasper's POV

**Many of you have asked to learn more about Jasper and his back ground, I've decided that I would do a few out takes in his pov, since the story is and always will be in Bella's.**

**I wanna thank all my friends for their help with this: abbymickey24, fallgoddess, LunarEclipse1, and KimRathbone or I should say that they encouraged me to continue and write faster. I also need to thank Maria for fixing my tense since I know this is my biggest problem.**

**Out Take**

**Jasper's POV**

My brother and I've been doing team roping for as long as I can remember. I was just in diapers the first time I saw a rodeo and three the first time I rode in one mutton busting. I had watched my brother do it the year before, and I wanted to be just like Peter.

As we got older the more we got involved, and soon we became an unstoppable team in team roping and team penning.

In high school, I think we won every rodeo our school attended. We both even got scholarships to the same college, so we could continue as a team. I don't think I could be happy, if I didn't have my brother and my horse in my life.

I've had one other person for a long time that I thought made my life perfect, and that was Maria Alvarez. She broke me good, something I've never even done to a horse. I train horses; I don't break their spirits like the old days.

From the time, I was fourteen until I was twenty-two; I thought she walked on water and was the most beautiful thing on two legs. Don't get me wrong Charlotte, my brother's wife and forever girlfriend is a looker, but I've always seen her as my sister and nothing more.

Maria had this jet-black hair that hung just above her ass, oh, what an ass that was. It was round and firm. I thought we would spend the rest of our lives together, but on the night, I was going to pick her up for dinner and pop the big question, she broke me.

I had a key to her place, and she had a key to mine; I never understood why she didn't want to move in with me until that night. I knocked as always and when she didn't answer right away I should have gotten a clue. I mean we had a date she even set the time. I used the key as I opened the door, you could hear the sounds of people fucking.

The place reeked of sex, and that doesn't happen with just two people. I followed the sound to the bedroom that I've spent so many nights in, wrapped around Maria. The door was wide open. I could see six maybe eight people in that room all naked and fucking. There was girl on girl action, guy on guy, and then there was Maria in the center of the bed with two guys buried inside her.

I couldn't move for the longest time. I just couldn't comprehend what was happening, shit she won't even let me touch her back door. Her saying was it's an exit only hole. I just stood there until one of the girls saw me and yelled "New meat!" which caused everyone to look at me, including Maria.

I ran. I didn't even get back in my truck; I ran crying. I didn't even know where I was or when I stopped. I called my brother to come pick me up. I didn't even go back to that place to get my truck; I had Charlotte and Peter do that the following day.

It took me months to come out of the trance-like state I had lived in since seeing that. About a year later I found out through the grapevine that Maria had been part of an orgy club since sometime in high school. How the hell did I not know this?

I went out and bought a new horse and pushed myself to become better at what I was already great at. Peter and I are the unstoppable team. We rake in more money each year than any of our competitors.

I vowed that I would never love again. I became a man whore, screwing anything that had a pussy and let me tell you, when you're as big of a money winner as I'm, that pussy comes looking for you, you don't have to go looking.

It was that time of year when Chance, my current horse, needed his yearly coggin test done, normally Peter brings Dan in with Chance, but he had taken Dan along with him when he went to look at a new horse for Char.

Chance is my butthead as I call him. He thinks he is a puppy dog, and he hates coming to the Vets. So, Chance decide that he would give me troubles coming off the back of the trailer by rearing up on his hind legs, pawing at the air, and neighing.

As I jerked on his lead making it snap up against his chin, he came down. That was when I heard the voice of an angel. I had heard rumors on a newbie in town, but until now, I've not seen hide nor tail of her.

When I turned to look at her those chocolate eyes, mahogany hair outlining her heart-shaped face, and that hot tight body; you could tell this was a woman who took care of herself.

I could tell she was older than me, but she couldn't be that much older. She was and was now the most beautiful person I've ever had the pleasure of laying my eyes on. I knew I wanted to get to know her better.

We talked as we walked Chance around back. I could listen to that angelic voice forever. When she started talking to Doc about helping out around here, I think I fell farther in love with her right there. Then I learn that she was breeding horses. I knew I just found my soul mate that piece of me that had been missing.

Upon Doc's suggestion after the delectable Ms. Swan had left, I found myself at her place checking out the two mares that some people would say were overdue and others would say they will foal when the time is right.

I could tell she had great taste in animals as they were both of show quality. After doc came and checked out both mares, I decided I would hang around and get to know the woman I knew would be staring in my dreams at night.


	11. Chapter 10

**A/N I know it's been a while since I posted. I'm sorry RL has been a bear. Last week hubby had his heart operation and now is home and I'm at his becken call 24/7 wait I was there before hand also hmmmmmmmmmm. Now it's trying to help him heal and hoping he will go back to the man he was before the health problems and will stop all this controling shit.**

**I wanna thank all my friends for their help with this: abbymickey24, fallgoddess, LunarEclipse1, and KimRathbone or I should say that they encouraged me to continue and write faster. I also need to thank Maria for fixing my tense since I know this is my biggest problem. If your looking for a good story to read check out any of the authors that give me my incouragement along with helping keeping the chapters reading smoothly.**

Chapter 10

I woke up to the light coming in my window, not the sunlight, but my security light. I had the light installed at the corner of the house, so I could walk the path down to the birthing barn without killing myself. I found myself still wrapped in his arms, and I don't recall ever feeling this safe.

I really needed to pee, and I was really hungry, but I didn't want to wake the man beside me. I snuggled back against him rubbing my ass against his abs. I felt his arms tighten around me, along with hearing him moan.

I stopped rubbing my ass against him, because that sexy moan made me wet again. What was this man doing to me? I had promised myself that no man would ever control me again. How did this young hot, sexy man already have some sort of control over how my body functioned in his presence?

I slid out of his arms causing him to groan. I darted to my bathroom, where I peed and brushed my teeth. I then grabbed a t-shirt and yoga pants from my little dresser that was built in the bathroom. I thought it was strange to have a four-drawer dresser built in, but for some reason, I filled it with a combination of sleepwear, under clothes, and some workout clothes.

I've grabbed stuff from it all the time, and this was one of those times where I was thankful to have it there. When I walked out of the bathroom, I expected to find Jasper still a sleep in the bed, but he wasn't there! His shirt, which had been dropped on the floor, was also gone! _Did I screw up, and he walked out on me?_

As I came down the stairs wondering where he could be, I heard him in the kitchen. The sound along with the smell of bacon cooking calmed my fears. I know we still have a lot to talk about, but at least he didn't leave. He needs to understand my past if we were to have a future together.

I found myself almost skipping the rest of the way into the kitchen; as the thought of watching a man cook was such a foreign idea, which I didn't want to miss out on. I rounded the corner and just stood in the doorway watching. He was working in just his boots and shirt.

That shirt had hung down to my knees on me barely covered his tight, sexy ass. I tried to suppress the moan, but the sight before me was just too much.

"I hope you don't mind me cooking. I woke to my stomach growling something fierce. I heard you in the bathroom, and I figured if I was hungry, you would be too. I know I'm rambling. This is all new to me…"

I walked over to him placed a finger on his lips to stop him.

"I don't mind. I loved the sight of you cooking in my kitchen, and it really smells good," I said, turning to get some plates down from the cupboard.

I let him finish cooking the eggs, while I made us, some toast and poured us each a beer, in the frosted mugs I keep in the freezer. Yup, beer, this was not breakfast, but a midnight snack.

By the time, I had the toast buttered and the plate on the table, he was serving up the bacon and eggs.

"Char, Peter's wife, does most of the cooking, so this is the best I can do," he said placing the plates on the table.

"It smells wonderful and I bet it tastes just as good. Thank you for being so thoughtful. After we eat, we need to go and check on the colts, along with collecting our clothes, but I can say I do love the view I have right in front of me," I said licking my lips.

He chuckled a bit before answering, "Thank you ma'am glad you like it. I think my shirt looks much better on you than me though,"

I shook my head, as I dipped my fork into the eggs. I found myself moaning, as I've never tasted eggs so good. We found ourselves in a comfortable banter as we ate. I guess you could say it was more like flirting.

We cleaned up as quickly as possible, so we could check on the colts. The bantering, flirting, or whatever you want to call it, continued as we cleaned up, and as well as we walked down to the barn.

We found them all just standing in the paddock sleeping. After gathering, our clothes and putting fresh bedding down, we opened the gates to let the mares and colts into their stalls.

As we walked up to the house, I asked if he minded if we could talk for a few minutes. He was more than glad to talk stating he understood that we've gone about this all wrong, if we want a future together.

Hearing him say that made me smile and my insides jump for joy.

Once inside, we sat on the couch. I turned sideways pulling one of my legs up under me. I did this, so I was facing him.

"As I told you in the barn, my life up until I moved here was one where every aspect of it was controlled. I will not allow myself to be controlled like that again," I stated.

"I would never try and control you. Talk to me; please tell me all about it. I want to be part of your life. From the second I met you, I've been drawn to you, and now I could never be without you in my life," he said smirking at me before he winked.

What was this man trying to do to me, "It's hard to talk about. I thought he truly loved me, along with only wanting what was best for me. I was in too deep when I realized it was about control, not love that he was after. I threw away nineteen years of my life. I have a daughter, who will not speak to me, because he told her, I was nothing. He told her that I would only destroy her life if she listened to me. How I didn't see it sooner. I don't know. Sorry if I'm rambling. I'm not sure how much of the past you want to know, and if it really affects us. I'm scared out of my mind, but at the same time I want to try."

"Darlin', we all have parts of our past that we just want to forget, but I think we need to let each other know about them. Maybe not all of it right this moment, but a little bit at a time. I know for me, there is no going back. I want a future that includes you in it. I feel it's only right for you to know that I've been known as a player. The future I want is to be with you and you only. I can't promise you that the ladies will stop throwing themselves at me, but I can promise that I will not accept any of their advances. You're the only one I want to be intimate with," he said as he slid towards me so his thigh was touching my knee.

I just sat there staring at him not sure what to say.


	12. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Did he just say he can't stop the ladies from hitting on him, but he could stop himself from accepting those hits? What am I getting myself into? Just having his thigh touching my knee is making my body tingle.

"You, better not accept anyone's advances but mine. I may not want to be controlled, but I don't share," I said softly as I leaned forward and kissed him.

"Mmm," He moaned into my mouth.

I've never initiated a kiss with a guy before. I just let my body do what felt right. I wanted to feel him, all of him. I started unbuttoning his shirt, as I let my mind be in control, until we are both naked with hands roaming all over each other's bodies.

I lowered myself on his hard cock. Being in control was so new to me, but this just felt so right. Our hands were linked, and neither of us could take our eyes of the other. You could feel the electrical current moving from one body to the other and then back again.

I don't remember ever feeling so free and alive as I did at this moment. I moved up and down on him and every now and again, I would roll my hips. We were both moaning, and saying just how good it felt.

When I came, it was long and hard. I felt him come a few strokes later. He pulled me down onto his chest, and I laid there while he softly caressed my back.

"We should get some sleep; we both have a full day ahead of us tomorrow. Just so you know, Peter will most likely show up early hoping that my head is out of my ass, so we can get down to some serious business and win big at the next rodeo," Jasper informed me while still caressing my back.

"Is he going to be alright with this?" I asked fearing he won't, and we would have to end this.

"He is the one that set me straight Darlin'," he answered causing my heart to do a back flip.

We sat up and gathered our clothes before heading up the stairs. We didn't bother putting on any clothes and climbed into bed, just as we were. It felt so good to have him wrap his arm around me. Just like our earlier sleep, this was peaceful.

I didn't want to crawl out of bed when we woke the next morning. Part of me felt this was all just a dream, and if I got up, it would be over.

"Darlin', knowing Peter, as well as I do he will be here anytime let's shower, dress, and cook up some grub," Jasper said.

"Why is Peter so worked up?" I asked needing to understand what had happened out on the circuit these past two months.

"Let's just say not placing irks him to no end. It's alright to be third and sometimes fourth, but coming in just out of the money irks him," He told me as he slid his jeans up.

"So, you have ground to make up, I take it?" I asked.

"Yes, but I know that my head will be back in the game now that we are willing to work on whatever is happening between us," he answered throwing my shirt and yoga pants at me.

"How do I know you will keep your word and not accept the advances of all the rodeo bunnies?" I asked needing to know that I could trust him.

"That my Darlin', will be easy. I only have eyes for you, and besides Peter and Charlotte, both will have my balls if I mess this up. Peter has a soft spot for you, and Charlotte is itching to meet you, so don't be surprised if he brings her over today."

I dressed, and then I started the grub as he called it, while he went out to feed the horses in the barn. I don't know why, but I made enough food to feed a small army. As I pulled the biscuits out of the oven, Jasper came in followed by Peter and who I believe was his wife Charlotte.

"Damn, it smells good in here," Peter said.

"I hope I cooked enough."

"Honey, with these two it's never enough. They can eat from sun up to sun down and still complain they are hungry. I'm Charlotte, Peter's better half."

"Nice to meet you Charlotte, I'm Bella," I said with a smile.

As we all ate, Peter told me all about how Jasper had acted on the road and why he insisted on him coming here and letting me know how he feels about me. After eating, the guys took off to go work their horses in my arena. Peter had brought both of them over thinking it might be easier for them just to work them here.

Charlotte and I sat around talking. She told me some really funny stories about the guys as teenagers. I asked her about this player attitude of his, and if she thought he was just telling me a line of crap that he won't accept the advances of the women, to make me happy.

She told me, that she has never seen him hooked on a woman like he seems to be hooked on me. It put me a little more at ease, but I knew I would have to see it to believe it. I know that I could never share my man. I was still struggling with myself over this.

Did I really want to get involved with a man before I have my own life figured out?


	13. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Over the next week, Peter and Jasper worked their horses for eight to nine hours each day. I found myself fascinated and spent much of my day watching, making sure they had enough water and Gatorade, and then making a good hardy meal to help them keep up their strength.

Char would help me cook. I learned a lot about the guys, as well as how the rodeo circuit works. Char explained how even Peter gets women throwing themselves at him, but she trusts him. This is something that will have to come in time between Jasper and I.

I will say even after eight to nine hours on the back of a horse, Jasper still had the energy to make me feel wow. Sex with him was something new each and every time. He never failed to make me orgasm because he says it's about me not him.

I sat in bed thinking about the past week. I knew he would support me in anything I wanted. He encouraged me to start helping doc out at the clinic saying the colts are healthy and don't need as much care.

The bed felt lonely tonight, as earlier in the day the guys took off to a big rodeo up in Oklahoma City. I won't see him for the next few weeks. I knew we would talk on the phone, but that just wasn't going to be the same; for there was nothing like being wrapped in his arms as I slept.

My plan was to go and talk with doc on Monday to see if his offer still stands. I knew if I needed anything Char was just a phone call away as was Rose.

It was nice to have Rose's support in my newfound relationship with Jasper. She told me that 'behind every great woman was a good man, who supported her at every corner in her life.' I laughed at her saying that I've never heard that before.

I feel happy as well as content with the way my life is heading. If my breeding program works the way, I have it currently planned, then in two to three years; I'll be ready to find the stud that fits into my program.

I know adding a stud can cause some issues with fencing, but I also knew that there are studs out there, which are easy keepers. Easy keepers don't try to go through the fences; I know there are some out there, and that is what I am looking for.

My meeting with doc had gone well and I've been working four-hour shifts Monday through Friday for the past three weeks. I called in sick today because I can't seem to keep anything down. I guess the news of me not feeling well flew around town, because by noon Char was over here making me tea and chicken noodle soup. Rose called and asked if there was anything that I needed. Alice dropped by with some magazines for me to read, saying it helps her keep her mind off not feeling well.

After dinner Jasper called saying, he wished that he was here to take care of me instead of Char. I thought that was so sweet.

The next three days were the same. I couldn't keep anything down. I couldn't stand the taste it left in my mouth, so each time after the toilet and I had our intimate moment, I was brushing my teeth, before lying back down.

I ran out of toothpaste and I knew I had some extra in the drawer, because I had gotten the four pack from Sam's Club. I opened the drawer to get the next tube out was when it hit me. What was going on? I knew this didn't feel like the flu or some stomach virus. There in the drawer was an unopened box of pads.

How did I miss this? I know my cycle isn't what you call regular, as I can go from a fourteen-day cycle to a twenty-day cycle and sometimes even the normal cycle of twenty-eight days. I sat down on the vanity stool walking through everything that had gone on over the past month.

The last period I remember was about sixteen days before Jasper came home. Was this something I wanted? Was this something he would accept? I was still sitting on the stool with tears running down my face when Char came out to check on me.

With tears, still coming down I explained to Char my worst fear. She held me as she cried with me. Saying it would be alright. How can she say it's going to be alright? I'm forty-eight years old. I have one kid who hates me and thinks that her dad is dead because of me.

With some coaxing, she got me in bed where she wrapped herself around me as I cried myself to sleep. I slept through dinner and sadly Jaspers phone call. Char told me she didn't say anything to him except that I'd been asleep for a few hours after having a rough afternoon, and she didn't want to wake me, saying I needed my rest.

Bright and early the next-day Char had me loaded in her car and was driving me to the Cullen clinic. How do you tell your doctor, whom you've only known for less than a year that you think you're pregnant because you didn't use your brain and made sure you had protected sex?

I was so glad that Char did all the talking knowing that if I opened my mouth to speak, I would start crying again. After having me do the standard pee in a cup routine. I was weighed and had my blood pressure taken. I found out my worst fear was a reality.

Because of my age, Dr. Carlisle wanted me to see a specialist in Austin, but he also wanted to get an ultra sound done today and he would forward everything on. Char was right there beside me when we got to see the two little peanut shaped figures on the screen, as well as watching both of their heart beats.

Twins, just my luck. I cried all the way back to the house. Char put me to bed saying she would take care of everything. I'm not sure what she meant by everything. I hope that doesn't include telling one very sexy cowboy that he's going to be a father of twins.


	14. Chapter 13

**I wanna thank all my friends for their help with this: abbymickey24, fallgoddess, LunarEclipse1, and KimRathbone or I should say that they encouraged me to continue and write faster. I also need to thank Maria for fixing my tense since I know this is my biggest problem. If your looking for a good story to read check out any of the authors that give me my incouragement along with helping keeping the chapters reading smoothly.**

Chapter 13

Now knowing what was going on with my body, it was easier to deal with leaning over the toilet a few times a day. Mint tea and crackers became part of my day, it was the only thing that seemed to help keep the other food down.

I was so pleased that Char didn't tell Jasper what was going on. This was something that I needed to tell him face to face. Over the next few days, I started feeling better with the help of the tea and crackers.

On Monday, Char took me to my doctor's appointment in Austin. Dr. Chase was the best in the state for high-risk pregnancies and only the best was going to get me thought this. Char and I sat in the waiting room for what seemed like hours.

I hated waiting rooms; the more I waited the more anxious I felt. Finally, a nurse called me back. I did the standard pee in a cup first; the nurse weighed me, took my blood pressure, and informed me that the doctor would be in soon.

Once again, I was waiting and waiting. I kept glancing at the clock, twenty minutes later the door opened.

"Ms. Swan, I'm sorry to keep you waiting. I'm Dr. Chase," she said holding out her hand for me to shake.

"Nice to meet you, please call me Bella."

"Dr. Cullen told me you're a friend of his family and that is why he referred you to me. You do know the risks involved in a pregnancy at your age, correct?"

"Dr. Chase, I assure you that I know and understand all the risks. This wasn't planned, but I accepted it and will do whatever is best for me and these two inside."

"That's good to know. You're six weeks right now and the earliest we can do an amniocentesis is fourteen weeks. Your weight is good, blood pressure is good, and I just need for you to start taking prenatal vitamins. Carlisle informed me you've been working with a nutritionist for losing weight, so I would like you to talk with her. I want you to get on a plan that will allow you to safely gain sixty to eighty pounds over the next eight months. I'll see you back here in four weeks for a regular check up and then the following appointment we will do the amnio. If at any time you have, problems don't hesitate to call the office. Since I deal with high-risk pregnancy, I have a nurse answering the phone 24/7; it makes the stress levels go down with most patients knowing help is always just a phone call away. Any questions?"

"None that I can think of right now, but I'm sure some will pop in my head later on."

"I'll see you in four weeks then.

I scheduled my appointment, before joining Char in the waiting room.

"Want to do lunch before we head back to the house?" Char asked me as she saw me walk through the door into the waiting room.

"Lunch sounds good as long as it is light. Can we stop by the gym, so I can talk to Kim, after we are finished?" I asked.

"Sure, anything for you."

I couldn't hold my laughter back as Char just glared at me.

"Bella, you are caring my kin and I take good care of my kin."

"Char, I appreciate everything you've done so far. Thank you for caring so much."

As we drove to the restaurant, I saw the billboard advertising the Austin Rodeo.

"Char, when is the rodeo?" I asked because I didn't see the dates.

"It's in two weeks. I was hoping to surprise you, but I forgot it's such a big deal that they always put up signs early. The guys won't be in town until the day it starts. We won't have much time with them before it starts, but we can all go out for a midnight snack afterwards."

"Will I get to have some time with Jasper alone, so I can tell him?" I asked.

"Bella, yes you'll have alone time with him and I know my brother, he will be excited about this," she reassured me.

We ate and talked about the guys. She wasn't shocked when I told her that I felt I was falling in love with Jasper. After lunch, we drove over to the gym, so I could talk with Kim.

"Twins, I've always wanted twins, but first I've got to bag me the perfect guy," she laughed.

We talked about how different this plan would be from the one I've been on. We even talked about how I should still exercise, but change it to water aerobics, which would be easier on my body and be healthy for the twins. It was decided that she would need a few days to put together the correct meal plan for me, and would email the plan along with the schedule for the water aerobics class.

I fell asleep on the ride back to the house.

"Bella why don't you go ahead and finish your nap in your bed, while I run and pick up your vitamins along with something for dinner," Char offered

"Sounds good to me," I answered.

Sometime later Char woke me up telling me that food was on the table. I followed her downstairs to see chicken soup, tea and crackers.

"Char you're a doll for doing this for me."

"Bella I already told you I take care of my kin and you my dear are kin, as well as those two growing inside of you."

The following morning I went to work. I loved being around all the animals, and it made me so mad that I listened to him and didn't finish school. It took someone bringing in a kitten to improve the mood I got myself in thinking about him.

I was thankful that, I didn't have to work around people when my emotions go all over the place in the blink of an eye. I've gotten so used to not dealing with people; I'm not sure sometimes I even know how anymore.

The rest of the week went by faster than I wanted it to, but then again I was glad to have the weekend off. I spent much of it sitting outside watching the colts play in the paddock. Char got nervous anytime I got close to them. Part of me understands why she is worried, but part of me felt she was over reacting.

I've done research unless your doctor tells you other wise don't change your life and your habits. Riding is safe until it gets uncomfortable. I'm not even trying to ride; I'm just trying to touch my colts.

"Bella, I can tell what you're thinking and you will get your butt kicked if you go through with it. Bella, it's not that you don't know how to treat an animal, it's that they are babies and babies get bored and they kick and bite at times. If anything happened to you and those babies I would just die," Char said.

"Char, they're my first babies born in this place, they are special to me," I whined.

"I don't give a damn, even trying to touch them over the fence they are still able to kick and bite you," she informed me.

I guess I had better listen. She's been around horses longer than me. This has always been just a dream until he died. At times, I miss my old life. Well not the life of being controlled, but I miss my daughter. I wish there was a way to get her to listen to me. I wish I would have stood up to James when he started telling Vicky I was no good, that I was just the egg donor and nothing more.

When my name became you bitch to him that was the nail that closed the coffin. Vicky never talked or asked me anything after that. I don't understand what I did wrong to make him like he was. I did everything he asked of me. I tried my best to be the kind of wife, he wanted me to be. I tried to be a good mother, but it was like swimming upstream.

I didn't even realize I was crying until Char asked me what was wrong. I quickly explained I was just thinking about the past.

The following week flew by too. I talked to Jasper twice when he called, because I was home and awake. He's been calling and talking with Char most of the time, because I was either at work or napping. I don't remember napping like this when I was pregnant the last time.

Friday Char helped me get all ready to go to my first live rodeo.


	15. Chapter 14

**I wanna thank all my friends for their help with this: abbymickey24, fallgoddess, LunarEclipse1, and KimRathbone or I should say that they encouraged me to continue and write faster. I also need to thank Maria for fixing my tense since I know this is my biggest problem. If your looking for a good story to read check out any of the authors that give me my incouragement along with helping keeping the chapters reading smoothly. If it weren't for KimRathobone this chapter would not be done yet right in the middle of writing I went brain dead, so I asked Kim to help and help she did she got me laughing so hard that I almost peed myself. I really needed the laugh Thanks Kim. I told her I wasn't posting until morning, but I just can't seem to wait that long.**

**Chapter 14**

Going and seeing a real rodeo had been a dream of mine, since I was a kid. I was excited, yet scared of what may come after; I talked with Jasper, who had stolen my heart in such a short period of time.

Char explained to me as we waited in the long line to get in, that we didn't have to pay for parking, since we were guests of two of the competitors. After what seemed forever, we got to the gate.

"Charlotte Whitlock and Bella Swan, we're guests of Peter and Jasper Whitlock," I heard Char tell the man.

After what seemed forever, the guy handed her a card to put on the dash board and directed us to the guest parking area.

"I don't understand what took him so long, he's at this gate every year and has known me most of my life. He was even at the wedding for Christ's sake," Char grumbled as she parked the truck.

"Char, when will we get to see the guys? I'm real nervous about seeing and talking to Jasper" I said just above a whisper.

"You have nothing to be nervous about. He loves you more than you realize. I have a feeling; he will take your news in stride, and be excited about the turn in events. You make him smile. Peter says he's more relaxed in the saddle than he has been for a long time," Char reassured me.

I still wasn't sure she was right. I know that she's known him her whole life, but still how can she be so sure he will take the news of the twins so well. I followed behind her a few steps as we walked toward the grandstands.

As we found some seats in the much crowed stands, they called the first event, mutton busting.

"What is mutton busting?" I asked Char.

"Watch, you'll get a kick out of it."

I could not believe my eyes as I watched the first rider come out of the chute. The kid had to be three maybe four at the most all decked out in bull riding gear with a helmet, sitting on top of a sheep. It was so cute and as I watched rider after young rider comes out of the chutes; I could see my little ones doing this in a few years trying to follow after their dad. I shook my head at the picture, causing Char to give me a funny look. I just shrugged my shoulders at her. From mutton busting, we went to teen's bull riders to college age before we went to the pros. We watched bronco riding after the bulls, and then we watched the teen and women barrel racers before they called intermission.

I should have gotten up and went to use the restroom before now, the line was a mile long if not longer, and I really had to pee. Char went and got us some food while I was standing in line to use one of the restrooms. I was close to the front when I felt him near.

Why was it, I could feel he was near before he even touched me?

"You're so beautiful, Darlin'," He said in my ear as he wrapped an arm around my waist causing me to jump. "Didn't mean to scare you."

"Don't you dare move one more inch, or squeeze me, any harder Jasper Whitlock, or you will need to change your boots. I seriously have to pee." I whined. He stepped back and chuckled.

"Alright Darlin', I won't squeeze you any more until you use the restroom. I don't have any spare boots with me anyway." He laughed. I looked around to see some of the women in the line eye fucking him. He is one delicious hunk of man. I decided to show them whom he belongs to. I grabbed him and kissed the breath out of him. We were so into it, that I didn't notice that the line had moved til someone nudged my shoulder. When we pulled away, he had a silly grin on his face. I took a quick peek and saw those same ladies giving me the evil eye. That's right bitches, he's mine! I just plastered a smile on my face and laced our fingers together while I waited for the restroom.

It was a few more minutes before the line moved again, which brought me closer to my goal before I peed all over myself and my cowboy. Yes, I knew now that he was mine if I wanted him. I still had my doubts, but I was hoping he would take the news well and stick around.

Char and Peter joined us just as it was my turn to use the restroom. I hated letting go of his hand. It just felt so right. I dashed into the stall as fast I could. I didn't think I would make it; damn this wasn't how I wanted things to go.

I finished up peeing, and washed my hands. As I exited the restroom, I got butterflies in my stomach telling me it was close to time to tell him. I found the three of them just off to the side of the line waiting for me. I couldn't help but smile, seeing him standing there. Damn he is one fine piece of cowboy, and to think he wants me.

"Bella, I grabbed you a beer," Peter says handing me a red plastic cup full of something I couldn't drink at this time.

I took the beer looked at it, "Peter, sorry I can't." I said handing it back to him. He looked confused.

"Are you OK Bella?" Jasper asked worried. I looked down at the ground not knowing what to say, or how to say it.

"Well not exactly." I whispered. "Can we go somewhere private to talk, Jasper?" He grabbed my arm.

"What's wrong Darlin'? You're scaring me. What's wrong?" He was freaking out now and starting to make a scene.

"We need to talk, but not in public. Where can we go?" I said wearily.

"I guess we can go to where the horses are. It's quieter than out here." He looked so worried. I looked over to Char and Peter. Char knew what I was about to say, but poor Peter didn't have a clue about the bomb I was about to unleash.

"Char, do you have Peter?" I asked.

"Yep, you take care of Jasper; I will deal with Peter."

"Thanks." I said as Jasper led me away. We walked over to where all the trailers were parked, and he kept looking at the ground.

"Please don't leave me." He said quietly.

"Uh...I..." Was all I could get out.

"Darlin', I never thought I would find someone to love, and one that supports my choices in life. Please don't say you don't want me."

Damn, how do you tell someone who thinks you're leaving them that you're pregnant, and not just with a signal baby, but with twins? I started to chew on my bottom lip as I tried to come up with the right words to say.

"Darlin' you're scaring me. Please just tell me what you need to say."

I can't do this; I can't seem to find the words. I could feel the tears starting to build up and knew if I didn't tell him, and tell him soon, I was going to lose it.

"Jasper, I never meant for this to happen," I started to say causing him to look even more confused than before. "I swear if you want to leave me, I'll understand..."

"Bella there is nothing you can say that will change the way I feel about you. When I said I never felt this away about anyone, I mean that with my whole heart. Tell me what's going on."

I reached into my pockets trying to remember which pocket; I had put the pictures in. When I felt them, I carefully pulled them out handing them to him as the tears started to flow. Damn these hormones are going to drive me crazy.

He looked stunned for a moment.

"Bella, Darlin' is this… is this what I think it is?"

"What do you think it is?"

"Darlin' this is why you've been so sick. It wasn't the flu was it?"

I felt him put his arms around me and pull me in close. Neither of us has said the words pregnant or twins. He just held me as I cried; telling me everything was going to be alright. He placed kisses on the top of my head.

Somewhere close to us, a car door closed causing us to come back to the here and now.

"Darlin' is there anything we need to worry about? The three of you are alright?"

"We're all healthy and hopefully we will stay that way."

There it was finally out in the open.

**Jasper's POV**

What the fuck just happened? One minute I think I am being dumped, the next I am finding out; I am going to be a Dad. Not just to one baby, no, two, twins._ Holy fuck!_ Twins? How did this happen? Am I OK with this? I have so much shit swimming in my head. I can't think straight.

"Are you sure you all are OK?" I asked wearily. I was just so worried about them. I have no idea what I am doing right now.

"We're fine Jasper." She finally replied. I picked her up and started swinging her around in a circle. I was so happy. We were having babies. "Jasper." She groaned as we swung. Her eyes rolled back in her head. I quickly stopped placing her carefully on the ground.

I watched as she started to turn away from me, so she could puke. Peter came around the side of the trailer, just as she started to heave. Everything that was in her stomach was now on Peter's boots, who just stood there staring at me.

I was trying to hold off my laughter when Char hit me up the side of the head saying, "You never ever swing a pregnant lady around, unless you want her to puke on you, or in this case, your brother."

"Damn, Bro I don't have any other boots with me, and they just called for us to go to the practice arena."

"Peter, I think I saw a pair of your boots in the back seat of Char's truck," Bella said hoping to salvage this moment.

"Char, you would be my lifesaver, if you have any of my boots in your truck."

"I do believe Bella is right on the boots being in the back seat, let me run and get them. Now boys, be gentle with her, no more swinging or offering her alcohol. Those are my nieces or nephews, and I'll kill for them if need to!," Char threatened us both as she started toward her truck.

"Bro, I never thought you would have a kid before me, let alone kids. This is just, Wow." He turned to Bella. "How are you feeling little lady?" Peter said brushing back Bella's hair off of her face.


	16. Chapter 15

**I wanna thank all my friends for their help with this: abbymickey24, fallgoddess, LunarEclipse1, and KimRathbone or I should say that they encouraged me to continue and write faster. I also need to thank Maria for fixing my tense since I know this is my biggest problem. If your looking for a good story to read check out any of the authors that give me my incouragement along with helping keeping the chapters reading smoothly. Also I know I didn't answer all the reviews FF seems to be hating me.**

Chapter 15

After Peter changed his boots, he and Jasper untied their horses and headed towards the practice ring. Char and I headed back to the stands. I couldn't stop smiling; he was happy about the twins. We still had a lot to talk about, but that would come after this rodeo was over.

As we found seats, once again I watched as many different animals, chickens, ducks, turkeys, geese, bunnies, piglets, and goats; were brought into the arena for what they called the critter scramble. They then called all kids into the arena too. They announced that whatever, animal they could catch was theirs to take home. They thanked a lot of different farms and families for donating the animals for this fun part of the rodeo.

Watching the kids scramble after the animals was fun. Once again, I could see in my mind these two little ones doing this in a few years. This brought a smile to my face. As soon as all the animals were caught, and all the kids safely out of the arena, they set up for the barrel racing.

I love trail riding, but going full out on a horse like that rather scares me. Yet there were young kids, as young as six years of age, out there running their horses at top speed around the barrels. I was in awe, of how they handled their horses. Soon after the barrels, they started the team penning.

First, they did the women's division then the men. I enjoyed watching. Once again, I was in awe of the riders. For team events, both the riders and horses have to be in-unison; it goes beyond ordinary teamwork.

At the end of the night, the Whitlock brothers came out on top in both the team penning and roping events. Walking away with a total of $125, 000 each, I never knew they could win so much for just being on top.

We met the guys back at their trailer to discuss where we wanted to meet up for dinner. Part of me wanted to meet up, but part of me wanted to spend some time alone with Jasper; we still have a bunch to talk about.

It was decided that we were to meet at THREADGILLs, which served southern style food. The guys had been on the west coast and had been missing some good down home southern food. We kissed our guys before going to Char's truck to head towards the restaurant. I enjoyed the food I ate here at the rodeo, but I was still hungry and could eat some good old southern fried chicken and mashed potatoes.

Char and I got us a table ordered sweet tea for all of us, and then we waited for the guys. It was about ten minutes before they walked in.

"Darlin', Peter, and I just talked on the way over here, and we're taking the rest of this season off. I want to be with you every step of the way. You three are very important to me," my cowboy announced as he kissed the top of my head, before he sat down.

"Jasper you don't have to do that, Char is taking great care of me. Kim has emailed me a new diet plan to help me gain the proper weight ensuring these two stay healthy," I replied not wanting him to change his life for me.

"Bella, there is nothing you can say that will change their minds, once they are made up. They've racked up enough points still to end up in the top three at the end of the season, which will give them over $300,000 in a bonus. I think it would be nice to have the guys around more than normal, maybe Peter, and I can even try for our own little one," Char said winking at Peter.

"Char's right, we've racked up enough points. It would be so nice to be here, and help take care of you and if Char is serious about trying for our own little one, I can go for that," Peter says winking right back at Char.

"Darlin', don't you want me involved?" Jasper asked sounding a little hurt.

"God, yes I want you involved, but I don't want you to change your life around for me."

"Darlin', the three of you are very important to me, and I would give you the world if I could," Jasper said, trying to reassure me.

The waitress came over and asked if we were ready to order. We all seemed to know what we wanted without even looking at the menus. Once she had walked away, we picked up our conversation right back up.

I've never been so happy or felt so loved. Soon, our food was set on the table, and we continued to talk as we ate. Somewhere during our conversation, it was decided that Jasper would drive Char's truck, and she would ride home with Peter, giving Jasper and I some time alone.

"Babe, take me home," I said, as I climbed into the truck, hoping that it would be more than just him taking me home.


	17. Chapter 16

**A/N: I want to thank all of you who have gone over to The Writers Coffee Shop and voted for my story. I'm not sure when the poll closes and they will announce the winners, but I'll keep you all posted. I got up at 5am this morning and have been a busy beaver writing. Took a break to feed animals and reboot system as word crashed on me, but is up and working now.**

**Chapter 16**

The drive back to my place was filled with silence, this didn't bother me as it felt so comfortable, just holding his hand. He pulled up in front of the house, turned off the truck, got out and ran to my side before I could even finish unbuckling my seat belt.

"Darlin' when are you going to learn I'm a Texan and we Texan's open doors for our ladies?" he said in a playfully, yet scorning way.

I didn't know how to answer it since until coming here I've never seen or been around people that had the type of manners which Texans have.

He helped me down out of the truck, shut the door, and pushed me up against it, as he captured my lips in a searing kiss. By the time he pulled back my body was on fire, and I needed him, all of him.

"Let's get you side before I can't control myself," he joked winking at me.

Why has it taken this long in my life to find a man that just his wink makes my panties wet or just the sound of his voice?

He took my hand, and we walked to the house. I unlocked and opened the door, as I turned to shut and relock it once again I found myself pushed up against a door. This time the kiss was so full of want and need that it took no time before he had us both undressed.

When he entered me, it was like a dream come true. I could feel all his love for me. His thrusts were smooth and gentle and oh so deep. Every couple of thrusts he would grind his hips over my clit causing a tingling feeling throughout my body.

I never thought that being taken against a door could be so erotic, but this was the most erotic thing that has ever happened to me. He would kiss me deep and sensually for a while then kiss down my neck and up to my ear, suck on my lobe just a bit, before coming back to my mouth.

I knew I was close, and I guess he could tell too as I heard him say, "Cum for me baby, I need to feel you cum all over me."

He then took my ear lobe in sucking on it a little harder; he nipped it causing me to go over the edge. As I felt myself clamp down around him over and over again as the most intense orgasm of my life racked through my body, I felt him cum deep inside me with a growl, "That's it baby milk my cock!"

I was panting so hard I couldn't talk. As he pulled out, he carried me over to the couch, where he sat down keeping my straddling him. He stroked my back to help me calm down.

"Darlin' that was just the start of all the things I'm going to do to you tonight. Tonight is about us reconnecting, and tomorrow we can talk more about where we see us," He said as he started to massage my breast.

"I'm all yours." My response came out sounding more like a moan than real words.

He shifted me sideways lying me down on the couch, as he slid to the floor, "You're so beautiful, and I can't wait until this belly starts to round up with my kids." He then moved his hand to my belly and started caressing it.

I giggled before I said, "You're the beautiful one, and I can't believe you want me. I mean us."

"I've never wanted anyone like I want you and these two little ones. Now let me get back to worshiping your body." He moved his hand up to cup my breast causing my nipple to harden.

Even though they are tender and a bit sore everything he did to me set my body on fire. I've never desired anyone like I do him. Maybe, there is such a thing as soul mates. All I know is, I can feel when he is near and the moment, we touch it's like someone turned on the electricity.

I laid there enjoying the feel of his hands and mouth as they work my body to another orgasm. The things he can do with his fingers and tongue. It's so magical. I can't believe I had to wait this many years of my life to have all these delicious things happen to my body.

He brought me to two more orgasms, with just his tongue and fingers, before he pulled away stood-up, and said, "Sweetheart, Darlin' lets get to bed, so I can make love to you long and slow."

He helped me off the couch, and then he picked me up and carried me up the stairs. I ran my hand through his hair needing to touch him. Oh, so gently he places me on the bed. He follows right behind. He centers me, making sure the pillows are just right.

He kisses up my body, making me tingle; he kisses me, pulls away, and just stares into my eyes as he slowly enters me. I've never seen so much love, as I did in his eyes.

He made love to me slowly, as we just looked into each other's eyes. This was something new to me. With James, he always wanted to take me from behind, never looking at me. I don't remember ever feeling so loved and wanted.

Every so often, he would take one of his hands and softly caress my face. I knew that things would be alright, that he would love me and our children. Our slow dance went on and on neither of us wanting it to end.

I couldn't take my eyes off of him. I relished the feelings, the looks, and the touches. I prayed to God that these would never end. When I did finally have my orgasm, it wasn't like any I've had before, and the intensity was so different from what happened downstairs just a short time ago. It came in wave after wave; it felt like it would never end. I didn't even feel him come, I groaned when he pulled out not wanting to lose this feeling.

He rolled off, pulling me close, kissed me sweetly just once, "Sleep now, my love."

I woke up as the light started to come through the curtains; I gently lifted his arm off me, needing to pee. As I stood that wave of nausea also hit me, causing me to run the rest of the way to the bathroom. I hoped that I didn't disturb him, but no sooner had I bent over the toilet; he was there holding back my hair, rubbing my back, and telling me that it was alright.

Once I was through, he helped me stand, so I could rinse out my mouth.

"Thank you." I turned around to look at a face that showed love, and concern.

"Darlin' I'm here for you. We are in this together." His voice is soft and filled with so much love and devotion; it made me feel each word he said.

He led me back to bed, told me to crawl back in while he ran, and made me some tea and toast. I felt bad that I was laying here feeling sick when I should be fixing him breakfast.

I drank my tea, nibbling on my toast, all the while he sat beside me caressing my back. I thought I must have done something right for God to give this man to me.

We talked as I continued to nibble. He told me, that even before he knew about the babies that he had decided that he wanted everything with me. He had planned to ask me to marry him once the season was over.

I told him that the babies shouldn't change his plans, that I wanted him to still compete. I told him that with Char so close and Rose not far away I would be well taken care of. I just couldn't let him change his life just because we both had gotten carried away and forgot about protection.

Yes, having these two little ones growing inside was a life-changing event, but one that we would get through as a family. We spent the afternoon lying in bed together. Peter called let him know he was on his way to pick him up for the event tonight.

He told his brother that he would drive Char's truck, and we would meet them there. I was excited to watch them again.


	18. Chapter 17

**A/N Thank you for all the reviews there were a few reviews the system errored out on me, so I just wanted to make sure you know how much I enjoy reading the reviews for the last chapter. **

**Chapter 17**

I really enjoyed watching the rodeo again, as I watched I could picture my colts out there running barrels or being part of a team roping pair. I also knew that it would be up to Jasper how he trained the colts when the time came.

Afterwards, we went to eat before heading towards home; Peter followed us in Char's truck. Once we got to my place, he unloaded Jasper's horse. Char hugged me, telling me to call her if I needed her.

I was yawning by the time we got upstairs to the bedroom, so the gentleman inside Jasper just kissed me before saying, "Sleep now my Darlin'."

I slept lying on his shoulder. I was never one to cuddle or touch while sleeping, but I can't seem to sleep next to Jasper without touching him in some way. I've also started to realize that my sleep was restful, something I wasn't used to, but more than willing to get used to it.

I knew from talking with Char in the bathroom of the restaurant, that I had just a week to convince Jasper to continue with the season. I knew that I would be alright with him out on the road.

I have friends who care deeply for me and that alone gave me peace of mind. I also knew that if I had any problems, Char would be calling Peter and telling him to get their asses back here pronto.

Everything was just falling into place. I knew I could still do small stuff to keep myself busy, leaving the majority for Char. As she told me, these babies are her nieces or nephews, and she wants to help make sure they make it safely into our world.

As per my morning routine these days, I ran from bed to the bathroom to lean over the toilet. Jasper once again followed me in holding my hair back with one hand and rubbing my back with the other.

He made me tea and toast once I was back in bed. We talked for a bit before we both went downstairs. With my stomach settled down, I cooked him breakfast, just not eggs as the smell would unsettled my stomach.

Jasper cleaned the kitchen telling me that I needed to rest and not to do much. He made me feel like I was an invalid. I went upstairs laid down on the bed and cried. I know I can't do as much as I'm used to, but I can still do the basics like cooking and cleaning up after a meal! So, I can't lift a basket of laundry or take out the trash, but I can still do stuff.

A short time later Jasper found me rubbed my back to help me calm down. We talked, and he felt bad for making me feel invalid that was not his attention; he just wants to take care of me. He explained to me, that even if I wasn't pregnant, he would be doing to cleaning up after a meal.

It's just the way he thinks. He feels that in a relationship, the work should be divided in half; for it shows that each person values the other one. He went on to explain that he felt that each person in the relationship has to give a hundred percent, this fifty/fifty bullshit that people say is wrong.

I really like how he saw relationships work, and I was more than willing to put in my hundred percent. After coming to an understanding that I still needed to do as much as my body along with my doctor would let me to do, I was happy.

We went back downstairs to do the chores out at the barn. We worked together, which made it go faster, right along with more enjoyable. As we walked back up to the house, I could not help, but thank God for this wonderful man.

By the time dinner was ready, I had convinced Jasper not to sit out the rest of the season, insuring him that if there were any problems, he would be called. I was pleased with myself. I don't feel it's right for him to give up money and what he loves to do, just so he's home with me. I'm a big girl and can take care of myself.

I had Jasper call Peter after we cleaned the kitchen together, cause I knew he would be anxious to hear if the decision. As he talked to his brother, we sat on the couch cuddled together. It was nice hearing him laugh and make jokes.

When he was off the phone, we did our barn chores, I could really get used to doing all these chores with him. I don't think I've ever been happier than I am at this moment in time.

After chores, I felt like a hot bath would be nice. Jasper came up with me, stating he wanted to wash my back for me. I've never taken a bath with a man before, this was something new and unexpected, but very enjoyable.

The week flew by, and I cried as I watched Jasper and Peter pull away. I knew this was for the best, but I sure was going to miss having him close. Char and I went into town the following day to talk with Esme about changing the guest room closest to the master bedroom into a nursery.

Alice was a ball of energy and couldn't wait to take me shopping for maternity clothes. After picking out furniture for the room, Char and I left to meet up with Rose for lunch.

Spending time with my friends helped me not to think about Jasper and how much I was already missing him. After a nice afternoon, Char and I returned home, where she helped me with the evening chores, before heading home to do the chores there.

When I crawled into bed, it felt too big and empty. How was I going to get through this? As I started to drift off the phone rang, I knew it was Jasper, so I answered, and I couldn't help but smile just listening to the sound of his voice.

We talked until I started to fall asleep on him. When I woke the next morning, I was still clutching the phone. At first, I thought that I did fall asleep on him, but was pleased when I found that it was off.

Leaning over the toilet without him holding my hair, rubbing my back was greatly missed. As I was walking out to do my barn chores Char showed up. We did a lot of talking as we worked. My place was larger than theirs was for I had a three-bedroom house that sat down the road from the main house, I offered it to her. She said she would talk to Peter later, but felt that was a great idea, since I was set up better and this way she would not have to drive back and forth constantly to take care of animals at two places.

That night when Char came back to my place to help with chores, she was pulling their stock trailer full of horses along with her truck being filled with the important stuff for starting to set up a house.

Knowing she would be so close made me relax. We could really turn this place into the premier ranch I've dreamed of. Training both cutting horses, right along with barrel racers just might be our ticket to making my dream come true.


	19. Chapter 18

**A/N: So, here's another chapter for y'all to enjoy. At least I hope y'all will enjoy it. As I said back at the beginning of this story parts of it is based on my life. Bella being in a controlling marriage, which I'm currently still in… I make a couple of statements in this chapter that are also very true. I've never read a Harlequin Romance, I have read a few of Danielle Steele's books and didn't care for them because of the cheating that goes on. The state Bella says she would rather be controlled than cheated on that is so true. **

**Chapter 18**

Everything seemed to be falling into place. Char started with the easy stuff first the horses, and then with the stuff she could load in the back of her truck. She won't let me help at all. This was the one of the things I hated, everyone treating me as if I was breakable.

Hell I know from my first pregnancy that women are supposed to keep their life as normal as possible. The only thing which I didn't do when pregnant the first time was finish up my school; James wanted me at home, but of course, I was allowed to cook and clean.

Char would let me cook, but not clean. I was following Kim's menus and was really enjoying the foods, she wanted me to eat. At my next doctor's appointment, the doctor said everything looked good and to keep doing whatever I was currently doing.

The following appointment was my amniocentesis. I hate needles and then to top it off; they use a big-ass needle and stick it into my belly and pull out some fluid. I know and understand this is important; we need to know the health of the babies.

The doctor explained all the different genetic problems that can occur to babies born to women over the age of forty. I already had done research since I can't do much else. Cooking a meal only takes thirty to forty minutes of standing on my feet.

The waiting for the test results were the worst. It wasn't until I started waiting that it hit me, that my babies might not be normal. Was I the one in ten that would have something wrong with their babies or would I be in the nine that would have normal babies?

This waiting was really starting to stress me out. I started getting headaches, which Char said she was telling the doctor when we went back for the results. She also threatened to tell Jasper, when he called.

Jasper and Peter both call us each night. I love how much he cares. I can't wait to see him. I'm due the middle of February, and he will be home after the finals, just a few days before Christmas. The finals are held in Las Vegas each year.

I learned that it's such a big event that it's sold out for years in advance and the only way to get tickets to be part of the press corps or a family member of one of the finalists. It's not like I can go being that far into my pregnancy, I won't be able to travel. It's a little bit of a downer, because I would love to see Jasper and Peter in the finals.

When we got the results, Char did tell the doctor about the headaches I've been having. Before I could sit down and learn the results, the doctor had the nurse take my blood pressure, and blood was drawn. I just sat and glared at Char as my blood was drawn.

My doctor didn't like my rising blood pressure, but said we would wait until the blood results came back before he would go into it further. He read my results to me from the amnio and I couldn't have been happier, both babies were fine. He asked if I wanted to know the sex of the babies, and I said no. This was something I would wait for since it would be something Jasper had to wait for.

He did say that the babies were fraternal. When the test results came in on my blood work, the doctor was shaking his head. This couldn't be a good sign. He explained to me that my protein leaves were up; with the high blood pressure, it was a sign of preeclampsia, which could be fatal to me as well as the babies.

I was put on bed rest and only allowed to get up to go to the bathroom. He also wanted me in his office once a week to monitor my blood pressure. He said it was very common in woman my age; he went on to explain all the signs and how to lessen the effects. Bed rest in a darkened room and if my blood pressure continued to go up, I would be put in the hospital.

I cringed at the thought of being placed in the hospital. I cried most of the way home. Char put me to bed reminding me that I wasn't to get up except to use the bathroom. She went back downstairs and a few minutes later; she brought up a pitcher of ice-cold tea, along with a glass, so I could keep myself hydrated.

She told me she was running to the store and asked if there was anything I wanted. I told her since I was bed ridden for the remainder of my pregnancy that I need reading material. I told her at this point I didn't care what it was; I just needed a bunch of it.

A few hours later Char placed a stack of Harlequin Romances on my side table. I laughed at her.

"Char, who the hell did you buy those for? You know what types of books I read. You could have just brought me some of the books from down in the library."

"Sugar, don't knock them until you've read a few. You do realize that millions of women read these books daily and that millions of copies are sold each year? They may not be up to your standards of books, but they are fun to read. You can finish one in a few hours and then start on a new adventure. We have cowboy stories, historical romances, erotic themes, and then there are even a few with vampires in them. If you can't handle them, I'll bring up some of your classics from your library, but please try at least," Char said with a smirk on her face.

Char soon left to go fix dinner. I sat and stared at the books; I've always stayed away from them. I don't even read Danielle Steele, since so many of her stories consist of one partner cheating on the other. Cheating is something I can't handle. It's funny I would rather be controlled than cheated on.

I still couldn't bring myself to pick up one of the books. Char noticed this when she brought in my dinner. I hated this, she won't even let me walk down the stairs to eat dinner like a normal person.

I cursed this pregnancy for turning me into a dependent person. I moved here to gain control and become independent. How had I allowed any of this stuff to happen? Oh, yah, a very hot and sexy cowboy.

"What's that smile about?" Char asked as she sat my dinner next to me on the bed.

"Thinking about this sexy cowboy I know," I said off handedly.

"Go ahead and think all you want about your sexy cowboy, I'll join you in thinking, but I'll think about mine," she responded licking her lips before adding, "Here's your dinner, and I brought mine up, so we could eat together. How does that sound?"

"I like that idea a whole lot. Char I like having you here. I just don't like being in bed, can you please let me join you downstairs? I'll stay put on the couch; we can at least talk and watch TV together."

"Sugar, we can try it tomorrow, but you've got to rest and take care of yourself and these two little ones in side you. I dearly want to meet them, and I'll do everything in my power to ensure that I do get to meet them."

I promised I'd be good as we both started to eat while talking about how much we missed our cowboys. Char told me it didn't matter that she had been doing this for years, she always misses Peter when he's on the road. She also told me this would be her first year missing the finals in Vegas. I felt bad that I was taking this away from her, but she assured me that she would rather be here making sure she gets a chance to meet her niece and nephew. When she said that I gave her a questioning look, did she get the doctor to tell her what I was having?

"Sugar, no I don't know for sure what you're having since you won't let the doctor tell us, it's just a feeling I have," she answered my unasked question.

We were both still sitting in bed when our phones rang.


	20. Chapter 19

**A/N: Here is yet another chapter to this story. We will get to see a little of a side romance start to build between two of the teens hired to help out since Char can't take her eyes off of Bella. **

**Chapter 19**

"Hey beautiful, how was your appointment today? Is there anything I should be worried about?" I hear as soon as I answer the phone.

"The babies are both healthy," I answered him not ready to tell the whole truth.

Char had walked over to the chair by the window, so she could talk to Peter without us competing, due to the fact that, we were sitting next to each other on my bed. I looked up to see her glaring at me and mouthing to tell him, or she would.

"Jasper, I love you; I miss you." I am so avoiding the news as long as I can.

I ask him how his day had been. I knew they were on the road getting ready to hit a smaller rodeo that brings out a big crowd. Char is burning a hole into me with her eyes. I can see that she is getting very upset with me. Can't she understand that I know he will be wanting to come back home to take care of me? I don't need him here; I don't want him here.

We talk for a bit longer, and then I hear Peter tell him that Char wants to speak to him. Shit why can't I just tell him.

"Jasper, I know what Char wants to tell you, please don't take the phone from Peter let me explain." His end of the phone becomes eerily silent.

I take a few deep breaths before jumping in, "I don't want you flying off the handle or coming home. Char is taking great care of us," I rambled out first, "my blood pressure is a little high, and so the doctor has put me on bed rest."

It's way to quiet on his side for the phone, and then I hear him say, "Char how bad is it?"

"Jasper from what the doctor said and some research I did while cooking dinner, they are fine and should remain that way, as long as the stubborn woman listens to me and what the doctor has told her to do. It would kill her if you came home."

"Char you can't watch Bella and take care of the needs of the animals. Those that are in training will still need to be worked daily," Jasper argued back to her.

"Don't you think I know that? I know a few teens that are looking for summer jobs, your cousin Justin being one of them. I'll give them a call first thing in the morning and have them work with the horses. They can do all the outside chores. I promise I'll take good care of the three of them; I know that if anything happens to them, I've got you to answer to and trust me, I don't want you after my ass. I've seen you when you're riled up, and I don't want to see that again.

The tears were falling down my face. I was ruining his life. I was ruining my life. I'd come to this place to live a dream and regain control over my life, and yet I gave my heart willing over to the hottest cowboy I've ever seen and lost total control. Now I could ruin his career.

Char moved back onto the bed and pulled me into a hug, running a hand up and down my back trying to soothe me. I hear her tell Jasper that she has to go, and that she would keep him informed of any changes, or if things get worse.

I cried myself to sleep.

I woke to the smell of waffles and OJ.

"Eat up and then I'll let you come lie on the couch and watch TV with me," Char said in this tone that said don't you even think about arguing with me.

I gladly eat the waffles smothered in butter, whipped cream, and strawberries. I would have rather had a cup of coffee to wash all this sweetness down, but the doctor had said no caffeine what so ever. I hate decaf anything; it has no real taste.

Char watched me like a hawk when I walked downstairs to lie on the couch. A short time later a young girl came inside.

"Char, thank you so much for giving me this summer job. I'm hoping to earn enough money this summer to get my own horse," I hear her say before she notices me.

"Hi, I'm Nat," she said sticking her hand out to shake.

"Hello, I'm Bella."

"Nat would you mind sitting with Bella, I need to run to the store?" Char asked her.

"Sure, the guys are cleaning the stalls right now before we take the horses you wanted us to work with over to the arena."

"Char I would be fine by myself for a few minutes." I am a little angry right now that she thinks I need a constant babysitter.

"Bella you know as well as I do the moment I walk out this door you'll pick up the vacuum cleaner or some other cleaning implement."

God she knows me way to well. I backed down and let her go without a response.

While Char was gone, I got to know Nat pretty well the girl won't stop talking. She was seventeen and just finished her junior year of high school. She told me she had been dreaming of her own horse since she could remember, but her parents won't foot the bill. She told me she was in love with my twin colts.

Char seemed to have taken her time shopping, as she was gone close to two hours. I really like Nat, The way she talks reminds me, of how I talked and dreamed when I was her age. I also found out that she has had a crush on Justin since grade school.

When Char came in with her arms loaded down with bags, I had a fight going on inside of me. I so wanted to go help her. "Bella, don't even think about it." Ok, that decided it for me. I'll stay right here on the couch; where I'll soon look like a beached whale from no exercise.

"Nat the boys are getting ready to take the horses down to the arena, why don't you head on out and thanks for sitting with Bella," Char said as she placed the bags on the table.

I loved having the space between the kitchen and the living room open, so you can still talk with a person when they are in the kitchen working. I said my good-byes to Nat as she got up to head out.

I looked forward to getting to know her over the next few months while she helped out around here.

As Char unloaded the bags I could see all the teas, coffee, as well as the pop that was all caffeine free. This was going to be such a boring time, not being able to enjoy the stuff I enjoy. I rubbed my belly and told them to hang on for just six more months, if they could do it, so could I.


	21. Out Take 2

**A/N: I feel so bad about not posting in so long, but for some reason I lost heart on writing, so it wasn't a writers block it was just me. I'm back now my heart and mind in the right place.**

**Outtake 2**

**Jasper's POV**

Peter and I had just settled in our hotel room for the night in Billings, Montana where we would be competing for the next three days. We had stopped and ate few hours before so, that once we were settled, we could both call our girls.

I was excited to call because I knew Bella had an appointment with her doctor today. I hated being away from her, but she was right if I'd stayed, I would end up resenting her as well as the twins for taking me away from the circuit I loved and lived for.

Sharing a room and making phone calls isn't the easiest thing to do. I took one corner, and Peter took the bathroom.

I wanted to hear what the doctor had said at her appointment so bad, that I didn't even give her a proper greeting as she answered the phone the first thing out of my mouth was, "Hey beautiful, how was your appointment today? Is there anything I should be worried about?"

When all she answered in a shaky voice, "The babies are both healthy," I knew something was very wrong and started to walk towards the bathroom. I was ready to grab Peter and head back home.

Something inside me told me it wasn't just her missing me that caused her voice to be off, my gut was telling me something was really wrong. I was now standing right by the door of the bathroom looking at Peter as he talked to Char.

Peter looked worried and then looked up to tell me that Char wanted to talk to me; my heart stopped for a second, and my knees went weak. I slid down the wall, so I was sitting on the floor as I hear my sweet girl tell me, "Jasper, I know what Char wants to tell you, please don't take the phone from Peter let me explain."

I couldn't breath I just sat there looking at Peter not knowing what to do or what to say. I'm not sure how much time went by when I heard her shaky voice say, "I don't want you flying off the handle or coming home. Char is taking great care of us." There was a slight pause where once again, I couldn't breath, and my heart stopped once again when I heard her say, "My blood pressure is a little high, so the doctor has put me on bed rest."

I knew I needed to hear this from Char and not Bella. I needed to know if I should be driving back to be there, so I could take care of them. I slowly reached for Peter's phone, which he was still holding out for me.

"Char how bad is it?" I asked as soon as I had Peter's phone to my ear.

"Jasper from what the doctor said and some research I did while cooking dinner, they're fine and should remain that way, as long as the stubborn woman listens to me and what the doctor has told her to do. It would kill her if you came home."

I knew Char said that because Bella already feels she is ruining my life by giving me the greatest gift a woman can give the man who loves her, a family.

Even hearing Char tell me it would kill Bella if I came home, I still felt I needed to be there. I knew there was no way Char could take care of her as well as all the animals.

"Char you can't watch Bella and take care of the needs of the animals. Those that are in training still need to be worked daily." I was trying to argue that I was needed there and not here.

"Don't you think I know that? I know a few teens looking for jobs, your cousin Justin being one of them. I'll give them a call first thing in the morning and have them work with the horses. They can do all the outside chores. I promise I'll take good care of the three of them. I know that if anything happens to them, I've got you to answer to and trust me, I don't want you after my ass. I've seen you when you're riled up, and I don't want to see that again.

Ok, Char has a plan it might just work. Part of me still wanted to jump back in the truck and head home. I decided I would trust Char, for the moment. I hung up Peter's phone and just sat there on the floor.

I felt sick and helpless. In the short time, we've been together Bella has become my world. I've never loved anyone like I love her. I wanted these babies more than I wanted or needed to win on the circuit.

Peter tried to reassure me that everything would be alright. I know he meant well, but Bella and my babies were in trouble for all I knew. A short time later Peter handed me back his phone with a medical page up.

My brother knows me so well, and I'm thankful for that. I quickly read through the information and started to relax just a bit.

Peter and I talked for the next few hours, which helped me to relax enough to go to sleep.

I woke the next morning feeling uneasy, but soon relaxed after Peter told me Justin had called to find out just what horse needed what training. Justin maybe just a teen, but he was so much like Peter and I in his love for horses, as well as a great head on his shoulders when it came to training. He has spent many hours helping Peter and I, and I knew he could do the job as well as any of us.

I made plans to call Char around noon to check in on Bella. This was going to be part of my everyday for now on. Bella didn't want to worry me, but I would be worrying about her and our babies until I could be at home with them.


	22. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

I did everything the doctor and Char told me to do, to insure that my twins stayed where they needed. My blood pressure has gone down to the high end of normal, though my doctor is still having me on bed rest to ensure we all stay healthy.

Jasper calls twice a day, once to talk to Char and then each night to talk to me. I understand why he calls and talks to Char. He just wants to make sure everything I'm telling him is correct. He worries about the three of us.

At first, I thought it was because he didn't trust me to tell him the truth, that's not it. He needs to hear from both of us to fully easy his mind. I know this is what it takes to keep him on track, so he don't come home.

There are times I want him here, but I also know how much he enjoys being out in that arena, with Peter and that is something I'll never take away from him. I dream of being wrapped in his arms each and every night. I long to truly be in his arms and know that soon, this will happen.

The summer past quicker than I'd expected it to since I'm confined to this dang bed or the couch. I know this is the time of year of all the state fares and some of the biggest rodeos go right along with the fares, this also will be bring the guys close to home again, which means the guys will be able to come home for a few days here and a few days there.

Char is looking forward to seeing Peter. I know this has been hard on her also, since normally she is out on the road with them. I feel so bad that, I've changed the life of so many just because I was stupid enough to have unprotected sex.

Thinking back, I know none of this was planned. That first time in the barn, I get all hot and wet just thinking about it. Damn I'd never had sex like that before and I can't wait for it to happen again.

By mid September, I was starting to feel like a beached whale. My doctor was pleased with the size of each twin. My blood pressure was once again in the high range. I didn't understand how this happened cause I've done everything which has been asked of me.

I'm no longer allowed to come down stairs. Char moved in a TV, with DVD player, so I wouldn't be so bored. My doctor told me if it wasn't down in two weeks I was going into the hospital. This was one thing I really didn't want to have happen.

When we pulled up to the house there was a car I've never seen before.

"Char are you expecting anyone?" I asked.

"No, the plates are from Washington State," she tells me.

_Shit it can't be. I'm not sure if this is a good thing or bad thing. It can only be one person and how did she find me._

Char parked, gave me a weird look, guess the look on my face told it all to her.

"Sugar, trust me if it don't go well I'll be kicking some ass," she says reaching for the door handle.

I couldn't help but laugh, cause I know Char would kick some ass given the chance. I waited for Char to come help me out of the truck. This was the only bad thing about being so big I can't see my feet and being so small as it is climbing in and out of the truck isn't easy. So, adding not being able to see feet it's down right dangerous.

No sooner had my feet hit the ground did my daughter step out of the car. I've not seen her since the day we put her dad in the ground when she told me she never wanted to see me ever again.

"Who the hell would knock you up?" Vicky asked, sounding her usual self.

"Just the Hottest Cowboy in the state," I say as calmly as possible.

"Sugar, I'll have to beg to differ with you cause my husband is the hottest in all these United States." Char says smiling at me.

"Mom, can we talk?" Vicky asks as she just glares at me.

"Sure lets get out of this heat," I say more relaxed because of Char's remark.

Vicky followed close behind us as we entered the house.

"Why don't you two have a seat in the living room and I'll get some sweet tea," Char states as she heads off to the kitchen.

"Who is that woman and why is she telling you what to do? I know this place is yours."

Char entered into the room just then and sat a tray with three glasses and a picture of Ice-cold sweet tea on it.

"Victoria I would like you to me my best friend Charlotte Whitlock, Char I'd like you to meet my Daughter Victoria."

I watch as Char moves close to Vicky holds out her hand and as Vicky grabs it she pulled her close and I vaguely heard Char say, "If you do anything to hurt your mom, I'll kick your ass and oh yes I can do it."

I could see it shock Vicky up a bit, but it didn't bother me one bit in fact it just helped me to relax all that much more knowing just how much Char cared for me and would go to protect me.

"Vicky the last time we talked you told me very clearly that you never wanted to see me again. So, what do I owe for this visit?" I asked.

"Mom I'm sorry for the way I've treated you over the years, My car broke down in Forks a few months back and I ran into some old friend of Grandpa's and they told me what they saw and what Grandpa told them about how dad treated you. I'd no idea that you were close to becoming a Vet. Can you explain why dad told lies to me to get to hate you even though we all lived in the same house?" She asked sounding much like she did when she was a small child who needed me.

"It was his need for control, as far as I know. When we dated, he was nothing like that it wasn't until I got pregnant with you that he changed. I don't know how else to describe what took place. The most hurtful thing he did was drive that wedge between us and got you to hate me. I've never hated you or resented you like your dad used to say. I love you just as much today as the day I found out I was carrying you."

"Mom I know this won't be easy, but I'd like to try and fix what's happened between us. Can you tell me why you're so big. I swear you're a beached whale," Vicky says as I start laughing.

"Vicky, I wasn't laughing at you, I was laughing cause I feel like a beached whale. Jasper is twenty-six almost twenty-seven. He is part of a pair in team roping on the rodeo circuit. He is the sexiest Cowboy alive as far as I'm concern, but Char will argue that everyday of the week. I'm as big as a beached whale because I'm carrying twins, who if everything goes as plan will be here at Christmas time."

We talked for a while more, before Char shooed me upstairs to get back in bed after explaining why to Vicky. It was Vicky who brought me dinner, staying to talk some more. She really did miss me and I had hope that this was the start of a real mother daughter relationship, but only time would tell.


	23. Chapter 21

**A/N: Sorry it took me so long, but I've had trouble making this chapter flow. I started it then deleted it and restarted it again like five times. My writings my be slow right now, but I will be finishing up each of my stories you have my word on that, they just might come a little slower is all. And I will post my other stories that I've not reposted yet.**

**Chapter 21**

Vicky's been here for over a week now; we talk for hours each day getting to know one another. I now have hope that we can really build a mother-daughter relationship. She told me about some of the stories she heard, during her short stay in Forks.

It made me sad that I missed out on the last few years of my parents' lives because of James, but at the same time happy that Vicky got to learn about her grandparents as well as to learn a little about me, which is what made her seek me out.

I'm grateful to whatever the town had told her; I wanted to be a mother to Vicky as much as I want to be a good mother to the two growing inside me. I rubbed my belly with love. They are such a miracle, and I can't believe that I am going to get a second chance to be the mother I always wanted to be. I know nothing will ever come between me and these babies, nothing! I will never be so weak and let someone turn my children against me. I am not that woman anymore and never will be again. I feel a little kick inside me like the babies know what I am thinking. Suddenly, I am overcome with guilt about Vicky, and I just start crying.

Why can I do it for the new babies, but I couldn't do it for Vicky? I have done her so wrong. How can she even stand to be near me? The tears pour out of my eyes, and I am starting to become a little hysterical. I hear someone walk by, and I turn my face into my pillow, hoping they didn't hear me. I take deep breaths thinking I am under control, and then I look up and see Vicky at the end of the bed.

She has a pained look on her face. "Mom, what is wrong? Is it the babies? Are you okay? Do you want me to go get Char?" She comes around to the side of the bed in a panic and holds me in her arms. It makes me cry even harder.

I felt the bed shift as she laid down beside me and wrapped her arm around me. I cried myself to sleep. As I slept, I dreamed of all the things James used to do to drive that wedge between us. I remember the first time he said something to Vicky to make her question my love for her. She was six and had gotten in trouble at school and since James had our only car, he had to go pick her up.

As they walked in through the door, I herd him tell her 'Your mom doesn't know what love is, she is nothing to you. I will always love you, and you can always count on me.' I couldn't believe he said something like that, something so untrue. I stood there for a minute and then ran into my room to hide my tears.

Later, James came in yanked me out of bed and told me to cook his dinner and to stay away from his daughter. That was just the start of all the things he would say to her. When she was old enough to understand words like whore and slut, he used those words to describe me to drive her farther away from me.

I would give anything to turn back time and have a backbone to stand up to him. I've always dreamed of being a mother and had enjoyed the early years with Vicky. Sometime later I felt Vicky get up and move out of the bed. I heard voicing off, in the distance; it was soft, but I definitely could tell that it was male. I decided to pay it-no mind and fell back to a deep sleep.

Jasper's POV

I thought being way from Bella was hard before she went on bed rest, but having her put on bed rest to ensure she, and the twins stay healthy made it even harder for me. It was so hard to concentrate on what had to be done without worrying about Bella, but talking to her as well as Char has helped.

I can't say that worrying about Bella and our twins hasn't affected my performance, because it has. I'm so thankful for Peter; he fully understands that why we decided to miss the next few rodeos, so I can be at home for a while. Peter has been missing the hell out of his Char; so that helps me not to feel so bad about coming home.

I've also been thinking about making Bella my wife, I just haven't figured out how to ask her. I don't want her to think I'm marrying her because of the twins. I want to marry her because she is the world to me; I've never been attached to any woman like I am to her.

After what Maria did to me, I never thought I would find a woman to love; then by chance I met Bella, and it was truly love at first sight. She is in my every thought, my heartaches for her with every breath I take.

It has been really bothering me wondering why Bella's daughter showed up. I know Bella wishes, she had been stronger when married to that prick James. We can't change the past, but we can shape the future. I do know that if Vicky ever hurts Bella, she will feel my wrath as well as Char's.

I've never seen Char take to another woman like she has Bella, and I'll always be thankful for that. She always makes sure Bella is taken care of, and she would be more than willing to kick my ass if I ever hurt Bella myself.

As we pulled into the drive, all I could think about was going and holding my sweet Bella in my arms.

"Bro, just go to her, I'll take care of the horses and drop your gear off in the laundry room," Peter said as he punched my shoulder.

I pulled the truck and trailer next to the barn jumped out rubbing my shoulder, Peter always hits way too hard for his own good, and it really did hurt and was going to leave a nasty bruise. I ran up to the house; Char greeted me, "She's sleeping, go up quietly; we're not sure why, but she cried for a couple of hours. Vicky is up with her.

I took the stairs as quietly as possible stuck my head in the door, saw my girl lying on her side with Vicky holding her. Vicky saw me and slowly crawled off the bed and came to the door.

"So, you are Jasper. Damn you're a fine-looking cowboy, mom's really lucky to have you, Oh; I'm Vicky, Bella's daughter," she said sticking her hand out to me.

"Vicky it is nice to meet you, can we talk later? I really would like to get to know you, but I've really missed your mom and need to wrap my arms around her."

"Go and be with mom, we'll have plenty of time to talk; I'm not going anywhere for a while."

I walked around her and stripped my clothes, off so I could feel her against my skin. I gently lifted the covers and slid into the bed spooning myself around her. I was now in my own personal heaven.


	24. Chapter 22

**A/N: I'm sorry about the long wait RL hit real hard. It felt good these past two days to write.**

**Chapter 22**

I felt the covers being lifted, causing a shiver to run through my body as the cold air hit my back, and then I felt the bed shift again. I knew the moment; he touched me. So, many nights I've dreamed of his touch. He was home and holding me; I knew it wasn't a dream.

I found myself sighing as he kissed the back of my neck. I wanted to wake up and tell him how much I loved him, but my eyes just wouldn't open. In the back of my mind, I wondered where Vicky had gone.

I snuggled as close as I could to his warm body and drifted off back into my deep slumber. Hours later as I slowly woke up, I could feel his harden cock against my ass, so I wiggled it.

"Sweetheart, are you a wake?" I heard him ask softly.

My answer was just a moan as I rocked back against his cock.

"To bad you have all your clothes on, and I'm only in my boxers," he said as he nipped my ear.

"I can change that," I said as I reached down and started to slide my sweats off.

"Let me help you," he said as his hands covered mine.

In no time, at all he was slowly sliding in me from behind. It was slow and sweet. I could feel the love with each motion of his hips, his hands, right along with his mouth kissing, nipping at my neck, and ear. This is the way it should have always been. This was truly making love not just a quick fuck like James always did.

Oh, how my life has changed, changes I relish, changes I never want to give up. Could I love Jasper, Vicky and the two growing inside me, without compromising my dreams? That will be a question only time will be able to answer.

I felt my orgasm building and didn't want the feeling ever to stop.

"Just let go my love," he whispered.

With that I let go and just a few short strokes later I felt him come deep inside me, as he pulled out I rolled onto my back, so I could look at the man who taught me the true meaning of love.

"I love you so much," I said tenderly.

"As I love you, you and these two mean the world to me," he said rubbing my belly causing both of them to kick against his hand.

We talked, him asking what had me so upset that I cried. I explained that I was scared yet happy to have a second chance of being a mother to Vicky. My stomach growing ended our little talk.

"I'll go down and get you something to snack before dinner, and maybe you should let Vicky know what you've been feeling. She seems to care a great deal about you, and I look forward to getting to know her better over the next couple of weeks," he said as he climbed out of bed.

It was Vicky, who brought me up a snack and a drink. We talked, and it felt good to let her know I was scared of screwing up and losing her for good. She told me that I would never lose her, that she felt stupid for listening in to her father all those years. She wished she would have followed her heart. Stating that she always felt love coming from me not the contempt James always told her I felt for her.

I still had so many emotions running through me that I broke down and cried again. Being pregnant with twins was not helping with my emotional state of mind. It did feel good to know so many people loved and cared about me. The only ones I knew for sure that loved me were my parents, but James had taken them away from me.

Vicky told me more about her visit to Forks and how the people talked about my parents and how hurt they were when I stopped calling and visiting them. I told her I wished she had met them, that they would have loved having a granddaughter to dote over.

Later everyone gathered in the room since I wasn't supposed to get out of bed. You could feel the love in the room as we all talked, laughing as we all got to know each other just a little bit better.

Char left to fix dinner, which she brought up, so we could continue to talk. It was late when Peter and Char left to go to their caretakers' house. Vicky stayed in a while longer, but left when I started to yawn. She kissed me on the cheek telling me that she loved me.

I watched as she shook Jasper's hand telling him to take good care of me, and if he didn't he had her to answer to. This statement made me smile. Vicky left and said she would see me tomorrow. The minute she walked out the door Jasper headed toward me on the bed taking off his clothes as he went. I laughed out loud and said, "A little impatient aren't we?" I don't remember if he answered because suddenly he was over me and giving me a kiss full of love and passion. After we made love for the second time, I fell into the most relaxing sleep in the arms of the man I know I will love forever. It was the best sleep I had in months.


	25. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

Time flew by and all to fast and the two-week break that Jasper and Peter had was gone. I cried as soon as they pulled out of the drive. I would never ask him to give up his dreams, just as he would never ask me to change my dreams, which are only on hold at this point in time.

With Vicky and Char both are pushing, I'll be going back to school sometime after the twins are born to finish up my degree and become a vet. I was so pleased that Vicky and Jasper got along.

I've not seen much of Rose or Alice for that matter since I've been put on bed rest. They've both have called checking up on me. Summer is a busy time for both of them and they both know that Char will take good care of me.

The few times Rose and I talked about Vicky, she didn't seem to trust her motives for being here and from there out she keeps telling me to watch my back. I so want her come out and meet Vicky and see for herself, that Vicky just wants to get to know her mom.

I'm not sure when I'll get a chance to introduce them, but I hold out hope that my first friend I made in starting over will come to trust my daughter.

Char as mentioned a few times after I've gotten off the phone with Rose that Rose doesn't do friends and it shows just how special of a person I am to get Rose on my side. I'm glad I've got the friends I have because I know with all them on my side I will get to make all my dreams come true.

My time home in bed hasn't been as bad I thought it would be. I get a few hours of reading done each day, as well as lots of talking and planning for the future with both Char and Vicky. I think Vicky is more excited than Jasper about the baby. She so wants to be a big sister. Her eyes light up with joy each time she talks about them.

Esme keeps showing me ideas for the babies' room through emails, cause like Alice it's a busy time at the shop and she's not had a chance to come and really look at the room. I've told her I wanted it done in neutral colors since Jasper couldn't be with me when I could have found out their sex. I didn't find out and I wanted the room done long before they were due since with my age and that I was pregnant with twins, I was bound to go into labor early. She tells me that neutral rooms are more fun to design, because there are more variables.

As they grow and my stomach grows, I feel like such a cow and lying down all the time makes it where I'm gaining more weight than I would if I was up and walking around. I know from reading on the internet that preeclampsia can be deadly to both mom and babies, and I'll do what ever it takes to make sure all three of us come out of this alive.

Listening to Char talking about how much traveling the guys will do over the next few months it's mind boggling to think in just a few short months they will have made stops in over half the states. I didn't know rodeos were so popular in so many different states.

Summers come and gone and fall is approaching fast. The cooler weather makes it easier for me to deal with my expanding belly. I've not seen Jasper since his visit during the summer, but I still talk to him daily.

My blood pressure is still just on the low side of high, but my protein levels is still high and my placenta has shifted lower, which makes it where I can't go up and down the stairs any more. We've turned my library into a make shift bedroom since it is right across the hall from the downstairs bathroom.

Char or Vicky have to be right outside the bathroom when I use it as they have to help me walk from room to room. If my placenta shifts any more I'll be put into the hospital and I don't want to be in there.

Rose stopped by today for the first time in what seems forever. She rubbed my belly and told the twins to be good to me. Alice came also, but left Rose with me to go up and take the measurements for Esme. The plan is to have the room done before Christmas is here.

It was so good to see both of them. I could tell that something was off between Vicky and Rose and I knew that by the look of Rose's eyes she was in mommy bear mode. I just hoped that Vicky won't say anything to set Rose off.

Alice was bouncing around when she finally came into my room to visit with me. She said that after years of trying she finally has gotten pregnant. I hugged her and wished her an uneventful pregnancy compared to mine, she laughed.

As are visit came to an end I rolled onto my side to catch a nap. I was just starting to drift asleep when I heard loud and clear. "I'm the bitch around here and if you do anything to hurt your mom, you will have me to answer too. I've not figured out your game yet, but trust me I will."

I wanted to say something, but let it ride because I know Rose would only say something like that if Vicky had made a comment to set her off. I didn't want Vicky to be playing a game with me. I've come to love her more than I ever thought possible. I loved having a second chance with her.

However, I trust Rose with my life and if she feels something is off, then more than likely something is off.


	26. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

Over the past couple of months, Rose has still insisted that Vicky was up to something and she was bound and determined to figure out what it is. I've still love having my daughter in my life. I know if Vicky is up to something Rose will figure it out, but I hope that she is just over reacting as well as just being protective towards me.

It's not been easy being on bed rest and I know I wouldn't have made it this far if it hadn't been for the whole team, Alice, Rose, Vicky, and especially Char. It now takes two people to help me in and out of bed because I'm so heavy.

The world finals were last week, Jasper and Peter should be home any day. They took second place, but only by one second. From what Char as told me it's always close, when the best teams in the world go up against each other. I asked her if she was sure, it wasn't my fault since I know Jasper's mind is on me so much of the time. She told me that it was just the luck, and not to worry about it, as there are so many variables when it comes to competing, the steer you draw, to how the horses are feeling, and the softness of the dirt in the arena. She said she could go on and list a few more, but won't put me through all that until the next time I get to watch the guys compete.

I let it slide Christmas was just a few days away and I was so looking forward to having Jasper sleep beside me with his arms wrapped around me. I knew we couldn't have sex as my doctor nixed that when I asked at my last appointment. She really wants to put me in the hospital stating I could go anytime and with all the problems she didn't want me to experience labor in the least.

Her plans were at the first sign of having contractions was to get me in for a C-section. I hated that idea, but I also understood that with the way my placenta has slid down and is almost sitting over my cervix, I can't have a vaginal birth. Char and I ensured her that once the holidays were over if she still felt I should be in the hospital then I would gladly go in.

I just didn't want my first Christmas with Jasper and Vicky to be from a hospital bed. She said she understood and made us give our word that if I had even one contraction I would head to the hospital and give her a call, so she could be waiting for us.

I hate this bed; this pregnancy has changed my life so much more than I ever expected it to. I can't be outside with my beloved horses. Char keeps me up to date on how each of them are doing and how the ones who are in training are doing. She spends a few hours each day working them in the round pen on the lunge line.

The actual training will be by Jasper and Peter once they are home. I so look forward to being able to watch them work the horses in the arena once the twins were born.

I knew that Peter would be working them while I was still on bed rest, because Jasper wasn't going to be able to leave my side. He's missed way too much of this pregnancy and didn't want to miss a second more as he said on the phone the last few nights when they've called.

Vegas is only a days drive away, but all the top riders spend a week giving exhibitions to the fans as well as meeting and signing autographs. From what Char has told me this is the time all the buckle-bunnies love the most. I knew from what I've heard of Jasper's past that he also enjoyed this time, well that was until he meet me.

I know deep in my heart that the buckle-bunnies have lost him. He's mine and only mine. He calls me in between the exhibition shows and talks until he has to sign a few autograph or warm up for the next exhibition.

He's called more in the last two weeks then he normally does, but I know it's because he's so worried about me and the twins and really wishes I would have let him and Peter take the year off of competing, so he could be with me. He's just glad he will be home for the last part of my pregnancy as well as the birth.

We've been throwing names out both boys and girls since we don't know what I'm having. We've not agreed on any names yet. Jasper is being the typical male and wants those weird names, which to me are names you would give a horse like Jet and Bodie. I was laughing so hard Char took the phone way from me when he suggested Bunny for a girl.

Two days before Christmas Jasper and Peter pulled in. Char was outside to greet them and help them unload the horses into the barn. I was nervous and anxious at the same time waiting for Jasper to come into the house.

It felt like hours before he made it in when I knew from looking at the clock it was just a tad over an hour. When he walked into the library my makeshift bedroom, our eyes locked onto each other and we just looked without either of us saying a word. Once again, time seemed like it wasn't moving as he stood and just look all of me in, almost two hundred pounds of me. I am more baby than I am body right now. It's a cruel joke to play on an already small person to have them carry twins.

Finally he said, "Hey beautiful," which caused me to laugh, because I knew I was far from beautiful at this moment.

"No laughing, because to me you are the most beautiful woman in the world. Those are my babies growing inside you," he reprimanded me as he walked slowly over to my bed.

We hugged and kissed until Char told us that was enough of that. Peter standing right beside her piped in, "I'd agree with my brother you are beautiful."

The tears started to shed without me wanting them to. These two guys have called me beautiful when I know I look like a beached whale.

"Baby, don't cry I'm here and I'm not going anywhere."

"I'm just so happy to have you home and both of you said I was beautiful, when I know I look like a beached whale. You know it takes both Char and Vicky to help me out of bed to use the bathroom," I said through my tears.

"I'll be handling that from now on," Jasper retorted.

"I'm going to go start dinner. You two behave, you both know what the doctor said about hanky panky," Char giggled out as she walked out of the room with Peter on her tail.

"It's not fair! I know those two will be doing the hanky panky tonight if not in my kitchen right now!," I said with a huff.

It's been way to long since I've had Jasper deep inside me, it's a feeling I'll never forget and one I've longed for over the past few months. Now I've got to wait longer just because the doctor said so.

Christmas wasn't much since I was stuck in this bed, but between Char and Vicky dinner was great. Rose and Emmett dropped in for a bit, the Cullens had dropped in the day before. It's so nice to have friends and family whom truly care about each other.

Even being stuck in bed, it was the best Christmas I can remember since I was a kid.


	27. Chapter 25

**This is Starting Over. I've been stuglling for a while on how to write the chapter and it hit me the other day to do it from Rose's pov so I can close the chapter on Rose's not trusting Vicky. We will hear from both Bella and Jasper real soon.**

**Chapter 25**

**Rose's POV**

Just a few days after the New Year Bella was admitted into the hospital, put on strict bed rest, poor girl even got a catheter put in. With her being in a private room it allowed Jasper to sleep there only leaving after one of us got there to spend time with her, so he could run home shower and change cloths and do what ever else a guy like him needs to do.

With Em and I living so close to the hospital that job landed on me most days, which I was more than thankful for. Something about Vicky was still driving me crazy and we had words more than once, so spending time with my best friend without her around was nice.

I was long gone by the time she came to visit each day. I know Em can handle the dealership all by himself, but I'm not just the owner, but also the top sale person. It's the looks you know.

The doctor had already decided to take the twins early and this thought scared Bella. The doctor kept telling her it was for the best, not only for them but for her also. Bella hated that something, which should have been such a happy time in her life, was filled with such heartache.

I keep telling her at least she is one of the lucky ones and had the chance to have kids in the first place. Being the survivor of a gang rape at sixteen rendered me incapable of having children. I feel I'm blessed to have Em in my life loving me just as I am.

The day the twins came into the world was also the day I finally figured out Vicky and now how to tell Bella was the biggest question.

Cassidy Ann was just a little over three pounds, but her brother Charles Jasper was over four pounds. Being born four weeks early their weight was better than what the doctors had hoped them to be.

I'm glad it was Em, who found me crying and not someone else. I was crying because not knowing how to tell my best friend in the world her daughter has been lying to her all along.

Em held me as I told him what I saw and heard when I went to find Vicky after the birth of the twins, which she missed. This upset Bella because she had wanted her in the room since the doctors had said she could have two people, since Vicky wasn't around I got to be there and it was an experience I'll never forget. I know Char was upset she wasn't the one picked, but she understood why Bella picked me.

I left to find Vicky after the babies were cleaned up and Bella was returned to her room, so everyone could meet the babies. I found her outside in the parking lot talking to or should I say yelling with an older black man.

I ducked down behind a car so they wouldn't see me.

"Vicky, it took you way to long to call me,"

"I've been busy; it's not been easy on me."

"How hasn't it been easy on you, months ago you said you had your mom eating out of your hands, believing she wanted a loving relationship with her," I cringed at these words.

"I do want a loving relationship with her; she's not what dad has always said she was. I can't do this, she don't deserve any what has been planned. You can't make me," I watched as the guy slapped her. Part of me wanted to run and help her, but I also needed to learn the truth. This was for the best.

"Vicky, your dad would be sorely disappointed in you."

"What does my dad have to do with this? He's dead."

"Oh, you stupid little bitch, you didn't know your daddy dear set us up to be a couple, to ensure your mommy dearest would always feel pain.

"Laurent, what do you mean?"

"Just that or meeting and falling in love wasn't what you've thought it to be. As well as your daddy's death, it's all part of the whole to make sure your mommy dearest always remember her place in this world and that the money she got becomes mine."

I watched as Vicky look turned to horror and disbelief.

"That can't be."

"It is what it is my dear and you will do as you've been told to do, you're mother must die and since you allowed her to give birth the brats must die too. In your father's will it says if your mother dies within two years of his death then all his money goes to you, we've got six months left to make that happen and it will happen or do you want to suffer right along with your mommy."

I watched as the guy pushed Vicky into a car and drove off. I couldn't move and just stayed right there crying and this where Em found me sometime later crying, sitting on the cold cement of the parking lot.

Part of me ached for Vicky, but part of me hated her more than the guys who hurt me back when I was a teen. How could anyone be so cruel? How could I stop all of this from happening? How do I tell my best friend? So many questions and no answers at this time.


	28. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26**

**Jasper's POV**

I just climbed into the bed as soon as Bella was comfortable; pulling her into me I leaned in kissed the top of her head dragging in a deep breath of pure Bella. We'd just gotten back from the NIC unit from seeing the twins. They are so small, but the doctor says they are strong and healthy and shouldn't be in there long.

I never get tired of her sweet smell of the strawberry shampoo she uses as well as a hint of Jasmine or is it Hyacinth, whichever flower it is it makes me feel warm all over I felt her body relax as she started to drift off to sleep.

I sat there running my hand over her shoulder and down her arm as I thought to myself how I love this woman and she just gave me the greatest gift my son and daughter. I was in my own little world when Rose burst into the room followed by at Emmett and all of the Cullens what shocked me the most were the two gentlemen I did not recognize.

"Rose what's going on, and who are the gentlemen with you," I asked in a panic as I sat up straighter causing Bella to move and wake up.

"God Jasper Bella I'm sorry this is important," Rose said with a very shaky voice.

I watched as Emmett put his arm around her, whispered something into her ear, causing her to nod, before she continued.

"This is detective Bennett and Jones, they are here because Emmett felt they needed to hear what I'm about to tell Y'all."

I've never seen Rose so rattled or sounding so scared as she was right now. My arm around Bella got tighter as she described the scene she had witnessed out in the parking lot. I won't leave Bella or the twins alone until this Laurent person was caught. I felt bad for Vicky and asked the detectives what was the best plan of action and is there any way Vicky could be left out of it, as my heart went out to her.

I know how controlling James had been to Bella as we've talked over her past, and I'd promised her I'd never stop her from doing what she felt was the right moves for her life. Yes I wanted to be let in on her plans for the future, as we try to build one together, but at the same time I fully understood she needs to be in control of her future and I would back her at every turn.

To me it sounded like Vicky had been also controlled, but it started so young she couldn't see it, and now she was being played. It might have started off as a plan on her part after the idea was placed in her head, but the longer she was with Bella, the closer they grew and Vicky had seen though all the lies James had said.

"Mr. Whitlock, Miss Swan, this isn't going to be easy, but for starters we will have someone in your home at all times as well as someone here at the hospital. We will also have patrols around the property. It might help if you could put up security cameras along the fence lines and at the front gate. Who says this person won't try to get to you once the time limit is up on your husbands will. We already have the DA pulling a copy of the will; Mrs. McCarthy explained you're from Washington State. It will take a few days to get it, but the DA will look over it and give us better detail information than what Mrs. McCarthy had over heard in the parking lot…." As he, paused Bella piped in.

"I've got my copy of his will in my safe at the ranch, would it be quicker if I had it handed over to you all?"

"Yes, that would be very helpful," Detective Bennett, said as we watched Detective Jones call the DA to inform him we can get them a copy today.

"The DA would like to meet the person who will retrieve the will from your safe out at your ranch to ensure it stays safe, at this point no one is going to take any chances with your life or those of the twins. I'm sorry this is all happening now, this should be a happy time for the both of you."

"Char will you go out to the ranch and get the will out of the safe?" Bella asked.

"You know I'll do anything you ask. You're my sister."

The door to the room opens and in walks Vicky as if nothing has changed. "Mom, can I meet my siblings now. I'm sorry I wasn't here earlier, but I had something I needed to take care of that, won't wait. I don't even know if I had sisters or brothers or one of each," she said looking around the room, when she sees the two detectives she stops and looks at them.

"Who are those two?"

"I'm Jeb and this is Clint were distant cousins of Jasper and just heard the news and since we were in town so we had to stop by."

This shows he is a quick thinker and I'm impressed.

"Bella, nice to meet you and we've got to get going, I look forward to spending more time with you in the future and getting to know my new cousins," he says as both of them head towards the door.

Char also excuses herself, I knew this was so; she can meet the DA, but not saying those words so not to clue in Vicky. The Cullens all say they need to get back to work, but will stop by again sometime in the next few days.

That left Rose, Emmett, and Vicky in the room.

"Vicky what was so important that it couldn't wait until after the twins were born, your mom wanted you in the room with her, but since you were no where to be found I got to be in there along with Jasper," Rose sneered.

"What I had to do was try and save them, but nothing I say will work," Vicky responded as the tears started to flow and her words became jumbled and unrecognizable, but her voice was filled with pain and her body racked with grief, but her last words were recognizable as she collapsed onto the floor, "What have I done?"

We all just stared at her not expecting her to tell us what was going on. Just maybe she is just a pawn in this after all, but only time will tell if she will be of any help in saving those I love with all my heart.


	29. Chapter 27

**A/N: for the first time in my life of owning my own computer, I've been having computer issues. This shouldn't happen living in a house full of computer techs, but hubby says I'm the worst customer ever and won't touch my computer, son works, so I'm at his mercy when it comes to time. Right now, my system is jury-rigged and I'm not sure how long it will last. My youngest son who don't even live at home is going to order the parts needed to fix the system correctly, so I should be good by the end of this month.. I've copied all my stories onto my thumb drive so I can now write on my laptop if need be.**

**Chapter 27**

**Rose's POV**

All my loathing for Vicky went out the window as she spilled her guts to us asking us all for forgiveness for not telling the truth from the beginning. You could see and feel how torn up she was about all this.

She explained how she never thought she would ever feel love for her mother, but now loves her and would give her own life to save her and the twins.

With Vicky, being so honest, I felt it was only right that I share with her what I saw and heard in the parking lot and how the two distance cousins of Jasper's were really detectives who were on the case to try and catch this guy.

Vicky said she wanted to talk to them and give them the full story and all the help they need to catch Laurent. I was all for it. I could see the hurt in Bella's face as Vicky told her everything. If Jasper hadn't been trying to comfort her as Vicky talked I would have been there beside her. Bella was my best friend and I wanted to protect and be there for her. I sat down in the chair on the side of the bed and held her hand.

Since I was an only child and never had children of my own, I could never fully understand what either of them was truly feeling; all I could do was do my best to let them know no matter what I was there for them.

Once Bella had cried herself to sleep; Emmett and I excused ourselves to go back to our dealership, promising to stop by later in the evening. Jasper just nodded and Vicky didn't even look at us.

I was in no way going to be able to concentrate on work knowing my best friend in the world's life was in danger. Em knowing me as well as he does knew this and drove us home and not to work. Once in the house I broke down and cried Em held me telling me that he would do everything in his power to ensure Bella and the twins stayed safe, as he thought of Bella as a sister not just a friend.

He knows me so well and has grown to love Bella just as much as I have. I finally fell asleep only to have a nightmare, one which I've not had in over a decade. It felt more real than it ever has and soon I was waking up to the screams of my own voice.

As always Em was there to hold me, telling me everything was alright, that he was there, and wouldn't let me go.

Em's the only person who knows about the ordeal I went through as a teen, the one in which I barely survived, if it hadn't been for his love I don't think I would have survived.

He once again promised me that we would do everything in his power to ensure the safety of Bella and the twins, knowing that is what brought on my nightmare.

Love so true is a rare gift; I found it with Em and Bella has found that same kind of love with Jasper. I see it and feel every time I'm with them and love like that is worth fighting for. This was a battle I wasn't willing to lose.

Besides Em, Bella is the only person I've truly have let into my heart. Yes, I like the Cullens and I'm thankful for their support over the years, but I've always kept them at a distance. From the first moment I meet Bella all those months ago, something inside me said she's your soul sister and needs to be in your life.

I showered; dressed cooked a light dinner before we headed back to the hospital to spend more time with Bella and I was praying that Vicky had spent time with the detectives and that they've came up with a plan to ensure the safety of Bella and the twins.

I knew in my heart that I would have a hollow feeling in my gut until this Laurent was caught and Bella and the twins were safe.

I was a little surprised that neither Jasper nor Vicky was in the room with Bella, who looked like she'd been crying again. I hugged her, telling her I was here for her now and always. She explained how the detectives said that since Vicky was part of the plan in the beginning she would have to do some jail time, but would get a lighter sentence for helping them catch Laurent.

I wasn't shocked by this as I know the law and knew this was very likely to happen. I didn't want to tell Bella that since she was so upset that her daughter would be doing jail time even with her wanting to help.

I just held her as she cried some more. Jasper walked in carrying take out bags of food.

"Rose, Emmett didn't know you would be here or else I would have gotten you something to eat. Bella didn't want to eat the hospital food. I'll run and grab something for you if you want me to." I felt bad for him because he sounded so sad and tired. This was supposed to be a happy time since the twins were here. He should be over the moon being a father for the first time, not worrying about someone trying to kill his love.

"We're good I cooked dinner before we came back, but thank you so much for the offer. We'll step out and go down and see the twins while you two eat." I placed a kiss on Bella's forehead and grabbed Emmett's hand and we left leaving Jasper and Bella to their dinner.


End file.
